Couples can keep their sex lives active and full of orgasms if they’re willing to explore together and play. Sex can be an act of love, but it also feels good. It’s supposed to be fun and open. You and your partner should be able to do anything together as long as you’re both comfortable with it.
Taking your sex life to the next level can be as simple as discovering her G-spot and his P-spot, or it can involve an elaborate role-play that gets you both all shivery inside. Here’s a point-by-point rundown on how to become expert sexual explorers.
The G-Spot: Not So Mythical
People love to joke about the G-spot like it’s a myth that doesn’t truly exist. Wrong! The G-spot is real and every woman has one. It can be stimulated with fingers or a G-spot toy once you know where to look—or, rather, feel. After that, it may be easier for a woman to have a vaginal orgasm, which can be elusive.
G-spot is short for Gräfenberg spot and finding it is a bit complicated. In truth, it functions as part of the network of nerves connected to the clitoris. By inserting one or two fingers into the vagina, fingertips up, and making a “come hither” motion, you can start the journey. The discovery involves plenty of exploration between partners. Begin with your fingers rather than a toy. That comes later.
In Search of the P-Spot
There’s nothing hard about finding the P-spot, which is the male equivalent to the clitoris or G-spot. It’s the prostate, and it deserves a lot of love. Until very recently, the anal play was considered a taboo, but now men and women of all sexualities are warming up to the idea. Men, especially, can benefit from prostate exploration. Stimulation results in harder, stronger erections, and intense, powerful orgasms.
The prostate is a gland that’s no bigger than a walnut. Anatomically, it’s in the middle of the pelvis on a man, right between the anus, bladder, and penis. If you want to introduce your partner to his P-spot, you can start by rubbing the perineum or inserting your finger or an anal toy just inside the anus.
List Out Your Steamiest Fantasies
Nothing gets you in the mood to play like a detailed discussion of your deepest fantasies. Even before you learn about each other’s bodies physically, you need to take time to connect on an emotional and mental level. Feeling comfortable with your play partner is paramount. In addition to revealing the things you want to try and the kinks that turn you on, the two of you can talk about your boundaries. You can also have a frank discussion of consent—because there’s nothing sexier than consent.
This is your opportunity to get graphic. Be open and honest about anything that piques your interest. Do you want to role-play? What’s your sexiest scenario? Maybe your mate wants to experiment with BDSM or edging. Revealing your fantasies can act as foreplay.
Shop for Props—But Start Slow
Props and sex toys provide the added spice with your sex life needs. Although plenty of sex toys are ideal for solo use, turning it into a couple’s affair is much more fun. A vibrator, clitoral stimulator, or prostate stimulator can make the physical act of sex intense beyond your wildest imagination. However, there’s an entire world of props waiting for you. In addition to costumes, you can play around with blindfolds, handcuffs and silk scarves, flavoured lube and edible undies, and sex swings, just for a start.
Make a Date to Go Exploring
Learn about your bodies together. A vanilla sex life is a common complaint among long-time couples, but there’s no reason you can’t turn it into the rocky road or mint chocolate chip if you catch the drift.
Now that you know more about your anatomy, make a date with each other. Light some candles, lock the door and undress each other. Put no time limits on your date. Kiss and touch places you never have before, such as the inside of the elbows, the inner thighs, and the small of your lover’s back. Tease each other before applying the new techniques you’ve learned to the spots you’ve discovered.
Test Your Boundaries Together
As long as you trust each other and consent to try something new, your sex life doesn’t need to have any limits. Sometimes, knowing that you have a safe space to test the waters with someone you love and trust is the impetus needed to embrace your sexual freedom. With sex, you often don’t know what you like until you try it yourself. Now’s your chance. Push the boundaries together. Find out what excites you. Uncover the kinky activities or steamy visuals that arouse you the most, and do it with someone you love and desire.
Get in the Mood with Sexy Activities
Try getting all hot and bothered together. That involves different activities for every unique couple. For example, watching porn together can be exciting when it’s something you both enjoy. Choose a genre that corresponds with the fantasies you’ve been discussing, or use it as an opportunity to watch something brand new to both of you.
Erotica is a sexy alternative to watching clips and videos. You two may find the written word more thrilling than pictures on a screen, especially if you read stories aloud together. In either case, you know what they say: monkey see, monkey do. You can act out what you’ve read or watched.
Take Teasing to a New Level
The simple act of teasing each other with titillating tidbits can heat up your relationship, particularly behind closed doors (or wide-open ones). Let your partner know how much you’re looking forward to things to come by texting or Snapchatting throughout the day. Sexting each other will keep both of you on edge and keen on what’s waiting at home. Snapchat allows you to get a bit more risque.
What’s the first thing you want to try together? Meet up tonight and put our Sparknotes to good use!
- P-What? G-What? “Sparknotes” for Sexual Exploration & Couples Play - September 28, 2019