Expert Advisor: Mel Williams
Wife’s perspective: I have been married to my husband for two years, and we have a one-year-old son together. The first year of our marriage was like a long honeymoon. We were deeply in love, and my husband never missed a chance to remind me of that. When we found out about the pregnancy, we were on the ninth cloud. But as soon as we had our baby boy, my husband started pulling away from me. He doesn’t spend as much time with me, works late, is always on his phone, and doesn’t even want to sleep with me. Whenever I try to get a little cozy with him, he makes some excuse and goes to sleep. I feel like he is cheating. Should I confront him?
Husband’s perspective: I’ve loved my wife since the day we first met. I still love and cherish her with every breath. But ever since we had our child, all I can see ahead of me is responsibilities. Raising a child is expensive, and I want to give my wife and son a comfortable life. That’s why I have started putting more time into my work. I am working towards a promotion, which is why I am working from home. All this pressure of work and responsibilities has taken a toll on my health and reduced my sex drive. I, too, want to get intimate with my wife, but there is a lot on my mind. I love and respect her way too much to cheat on her, but the situation is not in my favor.
Expert’s advice for wife: Don’t take it personally; talk to your husband and ask him politely to make boundaries between his work and life. Ask him to help you look after the kids by taking turns to bring them from school or to the practice. Have a clear conversation about how you both can work around your schedules to make time for each other and the kids.
Expert’s advice for husband: You need to set some boundaries between your work and personal life. If your work is stressing you out and making you unavailable to your family, then it’s not worth it.
Invest in your family. Make time for your kids and start treating your wife like you did when you were dating each other. This keeps the passion alive in a relationship.