News reports sometimes fill with negative reports about human behavior. Parents wonder how to teach their children to behave pleasantly in such a world.
Other people fear going outdoors at great personal risk. Too few people are willing to get over grudges or even to pin the blame only on the responsible parties.
Angry people aren’t even willing to engage in actual social skills, discussing issues and solving problems with peace-promoting compromises. Maybe more people need to consult therapists about how to forgive people in order to live a happy life again.
As Miss Manners often explains, “behaving like our better selves benefit everyone.”
The art of forgiveness is accepting a person for who they …
Parents wonder how to teach their children to behave pleasantly in such a world. Other people fear going outdoors at significant personal risk. Too few people are willing to get over grudges or pin the blame only on the responsible parties. Angry people aren’t even willing to engage in basic social skills, discussing issues and solving problems with peace-promoting compromises.
Maybe more people need to consult therapists about how to forgive people in order to live a happy life again. As Miss Manners often explains, “behaving like our better selves benefit everyone.”
The art of forgiveness is accepting a person for who they are – limitations and all, plus seeing a situation for what it is and isn’t, and then letting go of negative emotions. That enables you to fill with the light and relief of a positive mindset and positive behavior. You become a nobler person for the effort involved. It’s the difference between being functional and dysfunctional.
Think of life this way:
Ponder the choice between savoring the symbolic victories of humiliating people in public and the consequences of never being considered friendly or trustworthy by any of the people who know what you did. How much have you benefited from your angry outbursts now that people avoid you or treat you just as poorly?
On another line of thought, how much do you benefit from incessant feelings of hostility, increased blood pressure, and repeatedly seeing the world negatively? Would you like to wake up smiling each day, experiencing delight instead of constantly dreading whatever annoys you? Read on to reverse course so that you, and everyone whom you forgive, can feel at ease.
You can practice the art of forgiveness when you’re alone and able to focus on the process. That sort of thinking is called meditation. It’s very calming. Meditation lends insight into how to solve problems because it calms us down in order to think more clearly, sorting facts from fiction and weighing priorities.
The following meditation is based on lessons from the Shift Network’s Rabbi Doniel Katz of the Elevation Project: Sit straight in a comfortable chair. Uncross your arms and legs. Close your eyes. Release a long breath for a long time. Inhale deeply. Sigh loudly and long. Repeat this several times. Let your body relax and fall back in the chair. Resume normal breathing. Focus on the Universe, GOD, Reality, The Source, whatever you call it. Pray something along the lines of “Source of all reality, you created me, and you’re willfully creating me now. You gave life to me, and you’re pouring life and blessings into me now. I’m relying 100% on You alone, no one and nothing else at all.” Let that thought fill your entire being.
Uncouple from negative people:
Disconnect emotionally. Connect to the Universe, GOD, Reality, The Source, whatever you call it, and pray some more, something like “Creator of all the universes Who creates everything constantly, you’re creating every fiber of my being. You gave life to me years ago, and you’re enlivening me now consciously and willfully. I’m cutting myself off from anger, deceit, and lies. I rely only on You. I’m drawing a protective bubble of holy light around me. Source of all reality, I only want Your divinity right now. You’re creating my imagination, knowledge, insight, higher and lower selves, the very root of my soul right now. I choose only to rely on You for everything; everything emotional, spiritual, physically, emotionally, intellectually, energetically, everything. I don’t need anything from anyone.”
See yourself in a bubble flooded with light, connected to The Source. Nothing gets in; nothing gets through. If something or someone disrupts the connection, move it outside the protective bubble. You don’t necessarily need someone’s approval, permission, love, friendship, validation, etc. The Universe, GOD, Reality, The Source, whatever you call it, is your sole support. Feel It’s love and validation NOW. Focus on Its transcendence of time, space, and matter. It created you, and It’s creating you now, moment by moment.
Know that your anger, frustration, or other negative response has been a type of idol worship. That negativity is outside the protective bubble that you imagined. Visualize that reality.
Ask to have your genuine needs met (no, not having your ego fulfilled. You only want genuine needs to be met). Pray something like, “Please fill my needs. I know that You want to and that You will.” Speak spontaneously, use the mantra, dialogue, talk, increase the soothing spiritual light, and make sure that your limbs are in the bubble and protected.
Begin that process and go into this meditation more deeply. Keep your eyes closed as you go deeper into the meditation. There’s nowhere else to go.
Nothing can touch you inside the protective bubble that you’ve created, a bubble in which you focus on your relationship with your Creator. Bring everything that you need to receive inside the bubble, leaving out all the negatives. Turn only to The Source right now. You don’t need anyone or anything. Ask The Source for all your needs right now. Experience only The Source in the light.
Take one more minute to receive what you need to receive, to understand what you need to understand. Now that you’re connected, you are safe and aware, able to forgive, able to rise above a situation. This is not just a moment; you are building long-lasting truth and consciousness within you. When your challenges were baffling, your eyes were open; there’s no reason that the challenges should appear or need to appear here. You’re in the light the whole time, disconnected from your challenges, eyes gently closed.
You are safe with the One Source. The protective bubble is always with you. It is always there. Spend a minute singing or humming with a sense of happiness, of feeling protected and noble. If you wish, pray again, along the lines of “Source of everything in reality, Who guides everything, in reality, there’s nothing that You’re not guiding. You created me; You are creating me, the element of my being, body, and soul right now. You’re giving life to me, my consciousness and energy within me right now. I commit now and forever forward to only rely on You, no one, and nothing else. Physically, emotionally, energetically, I am only surrounded by light. Nothing can harm me. This truth is my shield. I forgive anyone who ever bothered me. You are compassionate and forgiving, my role model. Ahhhhhhh… ahhhhhhhh…”
When you’re ready, take some deep breaths and wriggle your fingers and toes. Come out of your meditation. Go slowly back to the rest of your life, calmer for the experience, and with a forgiving heart. You are free to respond to disappointing and infuriating people or situations with calm, forgiveness, and a positive outlook for the future.
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