The Silent Date Night Killer

Let’s get back to some girl chat, shall we? One of my favorite things to talk about is the importance of date night. In my opinion, date night can help establish healthy communication within a relationship, and it can really help couples hone in on the needs of his or her partner. One of the most common rules of date night? 

No distractions!! 

Now, I am not just talking about devices, phones, and television, even though those are some of the most common distractions amongst us all. What I actually mean is DISTRACTING topics of discussion. To me, the BIGGEST ” Silent Date Night killer.” 

Many of the following topics: 

Politics: Some couples agree in this area of life, depending on your relationship. However, regardless of his or her opinion, no one likes this topic. It makes all of us cringe now just to discuss politics, even in a social setting. So, just….NO. 

Family Issues Don’t like his mother? Auntie or Sister? Even if his mom said a rude remark at dinner. Save it for another time, which brings me also to the sub-topic GOSSIP even if discussions are problems not of your own. For example, Is someone Screwing the neighbor’s wife?? Even if the tea is extra HOT…..put it on the back burner. 

Try This! Decompress when you and your partner enter your bedroom. Hug your partner for support, and just breathe. Listen to their breathing pattern and heartbeat. Don’t carry that negative energy into a place of love. 

Relationship issues- OHHHH, BOYYY! 

These should not be disregarded at all. But there is a time and place for everything. Sometimes for both men and women, going to bed is a place of tranquility. No one wants the smoke after putting out fires all day unless it’s good smoke then…BURNN ITT DOWNN! 

I found it helpful to start with a sincere “thank you’ to my husband with physical touch (which is his love language.) It helps when we are both not emotionally charged from the day’s “festivities.” Children’s Children are a blessing. I’m sure you think your kid is the cutest kid you have ever laid eyes on. Did little Timmy get an “A” today on his science project? Again, that’s AWESOME but that is a dinner table conversation. (More on those later.) Make the bedroom about your PARTNER, what you enjoy that they do for you. Let them know how much you appreciate their effort, even when times can be challenging. 

I’m sure you get the gist of what I am saying. 

Make bedroom time JUST for your partner. I know some couples who have been together for quite a while damn near run out of things to talk about, so we took the liberty of crafting 20 thought-provoking questions to ask your partner. Try connecting with these questions and see where the night takes you. 

20 Questions to ask your partner?

1. What do you love most about my physical appearance?
2. What is your favorite memory of our relationship?
3. What was your first impression of me?
4. At what point in the relationship did you fall in love with me?
5. In what ways do I make you feel loved? 
6. What is one thing that excites you the most about your life right now? 
7. If you could give your younger self advice, what would you say?
8. If you could redo anything in your life, what would it be? Explain.
9. What do you enjoy most about our relationship?
10. What place do you love spending time with me?
11. What’s one thing you have always wanted to ask me?
12. If we were to break up, what would you miss? 
13. What’s one thing unique you like about our relationship?
14. What’s your favorite thing about my personality?
15. Where do you think we have the most strength in our relationship? 
16. How do I balance you? How do you balance me?
17. What’s one thing that you love that we have in common?
18. What is your favorite sex story that we have? 
19. What is the sexist thing that I do in bed?
20. Do you ever fantasize about me during the day? 

Some of these questions are deep, while some are just plain fun. Whichever the case, enjoy your partner. Everyday. Not just on holidays, date night, or only on special occasions. Every day, let them know how much their love and energy is appreciated and loved. Remember, sometimes in relationships, you get what you give. 

Give love.