Ahhh!! That’s a tricky one.
Being Friends with Ex is not everyone cup of tea. It really takes courage to befriended with an ex.
But, if you are one of those braves, who don’t bother to be friends with an Ex, hats off to YOU – because you know the advantages of being friends with an Ex.
Why it’s Good To Be friends with An Ex?
Keeping a healthy relationship with Ex is suitable for mental and emotional support because they are the ones who know everything about you. If you try to lie to them or hide something, it won’t take a second for your Ex to figure out the things. Be it a family issue or career advise nobody can give you better guidance than your Ex.
Your Ex has seen every thick and thin of yours. They morally and ethically helped you to deal with tough situations. Hence, being friends with an Ex is a gift of love to you, cherish and strengthen the friendship bond with time.
Why It’s Not Easy To Be Friends With An Ex?
While for others, being friends with an Ex is not an easy thing. They prefer to break even the friendship bond right after the break-up, these are the people who decided to keep a certain distance with their Ex, from deleting on social media to trashing the gifts, they don’t even keep single stuff that makes them remind their Ex.
So, why people feel uncomfortable in being friends with An Ex, even with knowing the benefits, the following are the reasons to help you with the dilemma of staying friends with your ex.
Make sure you read them carefully and decide wisely as it holds the potential to ruin your present ( if you are in a new relationship).
1. You feel for them
Your mind may say that you don’t love your ex anymore and convince you two to stay friends. But in your heart, you know that feelings take a lot of time to fade away. Remember, feelings don’t die. This means even if you have ended the relationship your feelings may re-kindle when you see your ex turned friend again and again. After a few days, you may ask your ex to come back to you but it will do no good to both of you. You two will end up making things bitter and feeling more disconnected the second time.
2. One of you is still in love
When people part ways they do it because they are unable to handle their relationship. Breakups generally take place due to misunderstanding, miscommunication, dishonesty or disloyalty.
Once the couple has sensed the reason behind their rough relationship they decide to end it. You see you may put efforts to remove misunderstanding and clear miscommunication. But dishonesty and disloyalty can be ignored at all.
This means one of you failed to return the love with the same intensity. As a result, you choose to separate for continuous bickering and arguments are result in frustration and bitterness. However, when you two choose to do break up one of you still may be in love with the other. In such a case staying friends with your ex is foolishness.
3. Moving on is not easy
Once you have ended the relationship you would want to move on in your life. But if you stay friends with your ex you will never be able to move. You will be stuck thinking about your ex and revisiting memories that will make you sad and unhappy. This will also affect your new relationship. Your new partner may not be able to trust you considering that you still care to be friends with your ex. You see, no one can move ahead in life by disrupting the flow.
4. An on-and-off relationship is not an option
Staying friends with your ex may bring you two together once again. But then again you’ll face similar issues despite all the efforts. You see going on-and-off in a relationship is not an option for you (especially if you don’t want to feel like an option yourself).
If your ex is coming back to you and then breaking up over and over that it means he/she considers you an option. In other words, they find you replaceable enough to demean your self-value. So, choose to value yourself than entering into an on-and-off relationship.
5. Hope and pain go hand in hand
When you stay in touch with your ex you are likely to have the hope of getting back together. But you see “hope is a dangerous thing” for “hope can drive a man insane” as Red says in the movie Shawshank Redemption.
The thing about hope is that it powerful enough to cause you pain if your wish doesn’t come true. In the case of broken relationships, hope is not positive at all. So, accept that you’ll never get back the same love and importance again.