Relationships bring two people together in a mysterious manner. Two strangers choosing each other over everyone is something that allows people to celebrate life in a new way. The love, thrill, and joyful memories make a relationship quite strong. But over some time a few relationships tend to break.
You see, not every relationship is meant forever. Only a few people manage to stick together and face ups and downs that life throws at them.
Being in a relationship is a skill in itself. You are required to both an adult and a child at the same time. The adult in you helps to handle things responsibly whereas the child in you keeps the joy alive. However, life is tough. In the process of going through highs and lows of life, some people kill their inner child and this sucks the joy out of their lives. Eventually, their relationship suffers the repercussions it causes.
Many couples decide to part their ways forever and not to stay in touch at all. This seems fairly logical for your past relationships hold enough strength to ruin your present. However, some couples find it hard to let go of their past. They find the idea of parting ways terrifying. Also, somewhere they have the hops that once the storm settles their relationship may go back to the way it was before.
So, they choose to remain friends with their ex-boyfriend or ex-girlfriend. For some time they may be able to convince their mind to act like friends but in the end, they will find themselves getting confused.
Ultimately being friends with your ex will ruin your peace of mind leaving you feeling insecure and empty. After some time you may wish to get back together but your ex may not have the same plan. You see not every person can handle a friendship with an ex. This person is the partner who is willing to make compromises in every scene just to show his/her love for the ex. So, you must know remaining friends your ex carries more negative connotations and very fewer positive connotations can be associated with it.
Also Read: Are You In Love With Your Friend?
The following are the reasons to help you with the dilemma of staying friends with your ex. Make sure you read them carefully and decide wisely as it holds the potential to ruin your present (especially if you are in a new relationship).
1. Feelings don’t go quickly
Your mind may say that you don’t love your ex anymore and convince you two to stay friends. But in your heart, you know that feelings take a lot of time to fade away. Remember, feelings don’t die. This means even if you have ended the relationship your feelings may re-kindle when you see your ex turned friend again and again. After a few days, you may ask your ex to come back to you but it will do no good to both of you. You two will end up making things bitter and feeling more disconnected the second time.
2. One of you may still be in love
When people part ways they do it because they are unable to handle their relationship. Breakups generally take place due to misunderstanding, miscommunication, dishonesty or disloyalty. Once the couple has sensed the reason behind their rough relationship they decide to end it. You see you may put efforts to remove misunderstanding and clear miscommunication. But dishonesty and disloyalty can be ignored at all.
This means one of you failed to return the love with the same intensity. As a result, you choose to separate for continuous bickering and arguments are result in frustration and bitterness. However, when you two choose to do break up one of you still may be in love with the other. In such a case staying friends with your ex is foolishness.
3. Moving on will be difficult
Once you have ended the relationship you would want to move on in your life. But if you stay friends with your ex you will never be able to move. You will be stuck thinking about your ex and revisiting memories that will make you sad and unhappy. This will also affect your new relationship. Your new partner may not be able to trust you considering that you still care to be friends with your ex. You see, no one can move ahead in life by disrupting the flow.
4. An on-and-off relationship is not an option
Staying friends with your ex may bring you two together once again. But then again you’ll face similar issues despite all the efforts. You see going on-and-off in a relationship is not an option for you (especially if you don’t want to feel like an option yourself).
If your ex is coming back to you and then breaking up over and over that it means he/she considers you an option. In other words, they find you replaceable enough to demean your self-value. So, choose to value yourself than entering into an on-and-off relationship.
5. Hope and pain go hand in hand
When you stay in touch with your ex you are likely to have the hope of getting back together. But you see “hope is a dangerous thing” for “hope can drive a man insane” as Red says in the movie Shawshank Redemption. The thing about hope is that it powerful enough to cause you pain if your wish doesn’t come true. In the case of broken relationships, hope is not positive at all. So, accept that you’ll never get back the same love and importance again.
In a few words, there isn’t really any upside to being friends with your ex. So, you must make a decision keeping your peace of mind in focus. Your feelings for your ex will not bring any joy in your life. Instead, you two will find yourselves in a new relationship tagged as ‘friendship’. The tag is enough to keep you happy for a few days maybe but in the long run, you’ll again find yourself in a frustrating relationship causing more harm to your heart, soul, and mind. You feel suffocated every time you’ll hang out with your ex as friends.