Ahhh! That’s a tricky one.
Being Friends with an Ex is not everyone’s cup of tea. It takes courage to be befriended with your ex, and it surely needs maturity in the prospect of emotions, communication, and boundaries.
But, if you are one of those braves who don’t bother to be friends with an Ex, Hats off to YOU! There are certainly some advantages of being friends but following disadvantages, depending on the situation.
Then, let’s get started.
Why it’s Good to be Friends with An Ex?
Keeping a healthy relationship with Ex is suitable for mental and emotional support because they are the ones who understand you. You both have spent so much time with each other, and a post-relationship could quickly turn into friendship when you consider each other soul-mates at times.
For a little while on your life path, they morally and ethically helped you deal with challenging situations. Being friends with your Ex could be healthy only if you cherish it under the new light of love and friendship.
Why it’s Hard to be Friends with An Ex?
While for others, being friends with an Ex is not easy. They prefer to break even the friendship bond right after the break-up; these are the people who decided to keep a certain distance with their Ex, from deleting on social media to trashing the gifts; they don’t even stay single stuff that makes them remind their Ex.
So, why do people feel uncomfortable in being friends with An Ex, even knowing the benefits? The following are the reasons to help you with the dilemma of staying friends with your ex.
Ensure you read them carefully and wisely decide. Nobody as it holds the potential to ruin your present (if you are in a new relationship).
1. You Feel for Them
Your mind may say that you don’t love your ex anymore and convince you two to stay friends. But in your heart, you know that feelings take a lot of time to fade away.
Remember, emotions don’t die. Meaning, even if you have ended the relationship, your feelings may re-kindle when you see your ex-turned the friendship bond again. After a few days, you may ask your ex to come back to you, but it will do no good to both of you. You two will end up making things bitter and feel more disconnected the second time.
2. One of You is Still in Love
When people part ways, they do it because they are unable to handle their relationship. Breakups generally occur due to misunderstanding, miscommunication, dishonesty, and disloyalty.
Once the couple has sensed the reason behind their turbulent relationship, and they decide to end it. Perhaps, you may put effort into removing misunderstanding and apparent miscommunication, but you can’t ignore dishonesty and disloyalty in any circumstances.
It means one of you failed to return the love with the same intensity. As a result, you choose to separate for continuous bickering, and arguments result in frustration and bitterness. However, when you two decide to break up, you may still be in love with the other. In such a case staying friends with your ex is foolishness.
3. Moving on is Not Easy
Once you have ended the relationship, you would want to move on in your life. But if you stay friends with your ex, you will never be able to move.
You will be stuck thinking about your ex and revisiting memories that will make you unhappy. It will also affect your new relationship. Your present partner may not be able to trust you, considering that you still care about your ex. You see, no one can move ahead in life by disrupting the flow.
4. An On-and-Off Relationship is not an Option
Staying friends with your ex may bring you together once again. But then again, you’ll face similar issues despite all the efforts. You see, going on and off in a relationship is not an alternative for you (especially if you don’t want to feel like one yourself).
If your ex is coming back to you and then breaking up over and over, it means they consider you as an option. In other words, they find you replaceable enough to demean your self-value. So, choose to value yourself then enter into an on-and-off relationship.
5. Attachment makes You Jealous
Being in a relationship with your Ex makes you still connected with them, and it’s understandable until it turns into something obsessive and negative.
Chances can be you may get jealous of your ex’s current partner because you still feel attached to them. At such time, don’t lose your mind, instead try to re-learn all the newfound friendship boundaries, and if you can’t, then take a mature decision and distance yourself from them.
6. Hope and Pain go hand in hand
When you stay in touch with your ex, you are likely to hope to get it back, and “hope is a dangerous thing” for “hope can drive a man insane,” as Red says in the movie Shawshank Redemption.
The thing about hope is that it is powerful enough to cause you pain if your wish doesn’t come true. In the case of broken relationships, hope is not positive at all. So, accept that you’ll never get back the same love and importance again.
7. Give Yourself a Little Time
Time is essential for healing and finding individuality that almost everyone seems to lose while trying to get out of an incompatible relationship. Reward yourself for all the emotional dilemmas you’re going through.
Prioritize yourself and give yourself much-needed time and space to heal all the wounds. It will make it easy to face the world without depending on someone emotionally and certainly not on your Ex.
8. It is Tough but Time will Change
It could be tough to deal with a roller-coaster ride to which you didn’t even buy the tickets, but believe in yourself and the universe; it will be worth it when you look back at all the things you’ve been through, from the start till the end of your relationship.
So, hold on tight and finish the ride like you’re enjoying it.