Simples. Because excuses are not for us to give. Excuses are for us to stop and reflect on them.
Excuses are manifestations of hidden fears and limiting beliefs, justifications of our ego and conscious mind, which want us to be safe in our comfort zone. Excuses are little …. well, untruths.
Reflect back with me on a time when you came up with an excuse not to go to the party or not to go on that second date. We’ve all pushed our imagination to the max to come up with something BELIEVABLE. Something that will sound like it’s true.
Why do we go through such an effort and risk being found out, instead of telling the truth, the real reason? Because we don’t like confrontations, we want people to like us. We don’t want to come across as weak. And by “WE,” I mean our ego. Male or female. We all have one.
All of the above is protection from others’ reactions and judgment. Pause and investigate.
Hi Excuse! Why are you here? What are you telling me about me, my beliefs, my fears, about this situation? What am I hiding from and why? So far, I’ve elaborated on what I call “emotional” excuses.
There is another type. I call them “oh-come-on!” excuses. Or also known as procrastination.
We all can write a toilet roll long list of them, and they go something like this… Me today: “I will get up earlier tomorrow, do my meditation, do 10 squats and then I’ll go downstairs and make myself a cuppa.” Me tomorrow morning: “Hmm, I didn’t go to bed as early as planned. I’ll have an extra 20min and start tomorrow.” End of.
These types of excuses tend to surface when we choose to make a change that can move us forward, closer to something we really want, will be beneficial to us, and improves our situation. Anything that requires a CHANGE. CHANGE means HARD WORK. This type of thinking itself is limiting us.
Coming back to our excuses.
Here is what I do. I think with the end goal in mind. Keep reading. It’s fascinating how this quick tip may change your behaviour. Me tomorrow morning – take 2: “Hmm, I didn’t go to bed as early as planned. I’ll have an extra 20min and start tomorrow.” At this point, I dive into the feeling of that moment yesterday when I felt motivated to make the decision. I imagine the feeling of satisfaction and pride I will experience when I get up, meditate and do my 10 squats. And how about I do it every day? How will that feel? Much better feeling than if I didn’t do it, that’s for sure! By this point, my vibration rises. I feel more motivated. I want to do it. I choose to get up and meditate. I may need to go through the process again to do my squats … that’s me, and exercise.
So, why should one stop giving excuses in life?
First of all, are we really that naive to think that we can come up with an excuse and the other person will not realize? We can all spot excuses from miles away. We sometimes choose to challenge the person, which often triggers a shower of further, not so well-prepared excuses. Or we just leave it, wondering what it was all about. One way or the other, it doesn’t help the relationship or the other person’s opinion about us. It defeats the object, doesn’t it? So why do it?
Secondly. What about our internal reaction? How does it make you feel when you vocalize your story? Does it fill you with pride and satisfaction? I guess not. And, you know that little niggle in your stomach? Guilt perhaps? Whatever it is, it’s not a positive emotion, and therefore it does not serve you. So why do it?
Thirdly, we all know from experience that sharing the truth with love and respect is never as bad as we imagined it. We know that taking those first steps to new habits is difficult but also exciting. Why do we need an excuse?
And at last, we are missing out on huge amounts of positive feelings, like satisfaction and pride. The amazing part is that it’s our choice. We can choose to overwrite the excuse and just go for it and feel good about it. Why would we deny it to ourselves?
I invite you to use your “emotional” excuses wisely. They can open some beautiful new doors to your subconscious mind and allow you to learn more about yourself. All you need to do is to let them.
For the “oh come on” excuses. Well. It’s your call. What type of feelings do you want more of in your life?