Dear mom and dad,
When I was younger, I didn’t understand the gravity of my decisions and choices, what they would mean for anybody beyond myself, and how they could, maybe, everlastingly define me.
I didn’t fathom the challenge that it probably must have been to a parent of a stubborn, inquisitive, gregarious, and eclectic, however, inherently introverted, self-conscious girl.
What’s more, I didn’t exactly understand the battle that you must have fought while attempting to raise me with innate morals and personal values while empowering me to unravel, establish and have the strength, willpower, and confidence to live on my own.
Now, as a 30-year-old, I get it. I can comprehend how hard it was for you.
Now I am miles away from you, in a different city, who barely have an interest in me. Yes, some people care for me unconditionally, but they can never take your place. I wish I did a better job at being your daughter. But I swear, I try each day and will keep trying till I make you proud.
Mom and dad, thank you for all the times that you loved me more than you loved yourself. You made my childhood a cakewalk. I grew up seeing the compromises you used to make for me, for my happiness and peace. You ensured that I got the best out of life even though you hardly lived your life at peace.
Remember when I failed in math and you both were called to school? That day, when I was scared that you would scold me when you both would come out. But instead, you defended me inside the room. When you came outside the principal’s office, you said, “Your failures don’t define you.” I was on cloud nine that you didn’t take away my phone, but I took all that for granted. The belief that you had in me even after I failed several times in life. I did let you down, but you made sure you never showed that to me. I apologize for that.
When I had just graduated, I was eager and desperate to earn money and decided to run a business with my friends. When you asked me to save up some money and invest it for later use, I said – “Please don’t tell me what to do. I know what I am doing.” I did not listen to you and instead did the exact opposite. I dwelled in my greed and failed miserably.
All I had left were loans and debts at the age of 22. When relatives used to come over, they used to try to discourage you and never left a chance to embarrass you because of me, but you made sure you never gave up on me and my dreams and fought through it all. I am sorry, Mom and Dad; I wish I had listened to you. I wish I had sat with you to learn from your experiences, but I ended up disregarding them.
When you said NO to a concert that was happening that one Saturday, I remember vividly that I slammed my door in anger and screamed, “I wish I had better parents who trusted me” little did I know years later, those parents would save every penny for their daughter to complete her masters in abroad and will trust her with all their life. I am sorry I misunderstood you. I could have done better.
There are a million things that I should be sorry for, but you never made me feel that I should be apologetic for anything. You are the wind beneath my wings. Thank you for freeing me and letting me fly my way. Even if I could have a heart as forgiving as yours,
I would thank my stars.
I know I am not the best daughter to you, but I swear I always tried to be one. I am still trying and will always continue to try till the time I make you both proud.