Commitment can, at times, be a scary word. But, not when you’re actually ready for a serious relationship.
When we watch movies or read novels. There are quite a few moments when we see someone ready for the next level of their relationship, approaching the subject with their partner. Sometimes we have a happy ending and sometimes not so much. Be warned that one of you may be ready, but your partner may not feel the same. Again, scary!
But how does one know when they are ready to hit that SERIOUS button leading to a huge COMMITMENT? And what are the tell-tale signs of knowing that your partner is ready for the same?
A) How to know YOU are ready?
This one is quite simple.
You would have been thinking of it for a while now, and that initial fear/nervousness is gone. You are certain that this is what you want.
That may be all there is to it. But have you asked yourself the important questions and given the right answers as well?
1. Am I willing to sacrifice some of my – me time for our time?
2. Am I willing to share?
This could range from the bathroom to the TV. When you get closer to a person with whom you were already in a relationship, the line between personal space and personal space starts to shift. If you have a hard time sharing things, then this is something you will have to work on.
If you’re planning on extending your family by adding a baby to the mix, can you share not only time itself but also your partner?
Remember, babies take up a lot of attention. So you will have to be prepared to not have much interaction with your partner during those hectic first months as both of you will put the baby first.
3. Am I ready to risk it all?
Remember, I stated above that your partner might not feel the same as you do in some cases. In worst-case scenarios, bringing up the idea of a deeper commitment in a relationship can eventually lead to the couple drifting apart… in the worst-case scenarios. That is why it is important to know whether you are on the same page before bringing up the topic of commitment.
I’ve listed a few ways below to help you figure out whether your partner is ready for that next stage in life. Be it getting married, having a baby, or something much more simpler-moving in with your partner.
B) Talking about the future with you
Usually, when we think of things, the next action that follows is voicing our thoughts. If your partner constantly brings up the future around you. Either to talk about what you are planning to do or what you think is the best course of action to take in the coming years, then this is the first serious sign he/she is giving to show the readiness for commitment
It can be a simple ‘Where do you see us in the coming years?’ or ‘I want to do so and so and would like you to share that dream with me. Will you?’ Statements like these are a dead giveaway that your partner is trying to bring up the conversation that will eventually lead to the ‘commitment’ topic.
If you bring these subjects up to and your partner avoids the subject or tries to change the topic, then note that he/she is not ready to tackle that conversation as yet and may be unwilling to go over what comes next. The best solution will be to postpone the conversation until you realize that he/she is ready for it.
C) Always there for you/ Showing reliability
You know how there are times when your partner lets you down. For instance, forgetting to put the toilet seat down. Missing a dinner reservation cos’ of work. Hardly having any time to spend with you and family due to overworking, or just simply picking up the wrong dinner. These things are a part of life and make it interesting instead of one calm, predictable road. But, when your partner suddenly starts going out of his/her way just to make sure they get it right: being on time and doing exactly what you need/want. Listening. Showing up on time…being reliable. Then that is a sure way of showing readiness to move onto the next step. He/she is giving you the impression that they can take on much more responsibility, i.e., a bigger commitment between them.
D) Behaving or saying weird things to get your attention
Okay, so I am a woman, and I know this is true: we like to give hints whenever we aren’t sure as to how our partner will react when we bring something up. So instead of just spitting it out, we tend to give signals. Most of the time, this works, but most men tend to get confused while others just seem oblivious.
So, when all of a sudden, your partner, girlfriend or wife starts saying things that tend to sound like she is stuck on repeat, then you know that she is trying to tell you something.
▪’ My friends are all getting married.’
▪’ Did you catch that ad about venues for hire? Wouldn’t it be amazing to marry there someday?’
▪’ The baby is so cute. Imagine what our baby would look like.’
▪’ Let’s go check out the baby section in the store for no reason at all.’
These are just a few examples. When you keep hearing these kinds of things from your partner, you know that she is waiting for you to pick up the hint. She is ready to take the next step with you.
E) Exposing one’s vulnerability
People, especially men, are usually discreet and careful about who they expose to their close friends and family. So when he/she suddenly starts taking you to places where his/her friends are all at or to family gatherings without you bringing it up or without any outside interventions, then this is a sure sign that your partner wants to have something permanent with you and is proving that by introducing you to those who are permanent to him.
These are just a few of the things that people do to show you that they are ready for more…
Always remember to never to judge a situation by how much time has passed but by the amount of assurance you have on what you are feeling.
“To say that one waits a lifetime for his soulmate to come around is a paradox. People eventually get sick of waiting, take a chance on someone, and by the art of commitment become soulmates, which takes a lifetime to perfect.” ― Criss Jami