Going down on your partner is not just an exciting way to spice up sex but is also an intimate gesture. Not to mention, sometimes, the orgasm gained with oral sex is much more exciting than achieved with conventional sex. So how can you give your man the best oral sex of his life? Dr. H, a licensed psychologist, specializing in couples therapy, gives his best tips on the topic.
“Generally speaking, gathering feedback and knowing the common areas of stimulation. Those are the two things that I would recommend. Gathering feedback like what does your man enjoy because every man has a different formula so to speak. Some people like their neck kissed or passionate kissing on the lips before someone goes down on them. Some men say, “just surprise me when I am in the kitchen or wake me up from sleep; that’s exciting.” So it’s important to know what that formula is,” Dr David said.
He continued, “Next is knowing the area of stimulation. So all men have common erogenous zones that one should know about.”
1. Frenulum
“The first one is the frenulum. A frenulum is an underside of the penis, kind of before the actual tip. If the man is circumcised, it is just below the crown of the penis. That is the most sensitive area for the majority of men,” Dr. H said.
2. Perineum
He continued, “There is also the perineum. The perineum is the space between the man’s scrotum and the anus. That area is also extremely sensitive.”
3. Scrotum
“Then there is the scrotum. For some men, the scrotum is a very erogenous zone. For some men, it is uncomfortable.”
4. “G spot” for males
“Similarly, there is the male “g spot.” Before stimulating that, you have to have a lot of conversation and make sure you get consent for that. It is inside the anus, which can also be very pleasurable for men if they are interested in that kind of stimulation,” Dr. H concluded.
Dr. H gave a piece of very interesting advice that is guaranteed to make your man fall in love with you all over again. He said, “No matter how you are stimulating the man during oral sex, bring your man to the point of arousal where he has not ejaculated but is close to orgasm, and then let him relax and then bring him back to that place close to orgasm and do that several times. Doing this enhances the final orgasm. It is also generally considered a tantric sex practice. And it is also used in a lot of treatments for erectile issues.”
What techniques can you use?
Dr. H said, “Some men are interested in deep throat stimulation; some are interested in being licked around their penis. Others are interested in a full mouth with a lot of pressure or a little pressure. And then a lot of men are interested in a variety where you start with oral stimulation, and then you go to the hand then use your breast or buttocks. That is why communication is so important to know what your man likes.”
Tips on avoiding gag reflex
Any woman who has tried giving her partner deepthroat suction will probably tell you that the most challenging part of it was the gag reflex. Dr. H shares some useful tips on preventing the gag reflex, “There are a couple of ways to prevent gagging while giving deep throat suction.
Sometimes a mild substance can help; there are some numbing agents that you apply in a moderate amount. But use these agents very carefully because you obviously wouldn’t want to numb your whole mouth as it could cause some issues. A little bit of alcohol can sometimes relax the muscles, so you are less likely to get a gag reflex.”
He continued, “But generally speaking, the process is one of desensitization. So if the woman were to take the man as far as she is comfortable, relax the muscles around her throat and stop just before she gags and then continue it until she can go a little bit further. That is one of the ways to train the gag response.”
