When my long-term boyfriend dumped me, I was in a very dark mental state. And why wouldn’t I be? After all, he was perfect. He checked all the boxes in my list of “My Prince Charming.”
I stopped hanging out with my friends, going to the gym, and even started eating less than usual. Seeing my misery, my friends suggested me some tips that proved to be very helpful in pulling me out of that abyss.
So, if you, too, are looking for the motivation to move on from a tough break-up or just can’t get over a crush, you should definitely check these tips out:
1. Figure out where you are lagging.
If you’ve tried but failed to move your thoughts away from him, ask yourself why. Doing an introspection can help you get insight into why you’re still stuck on the same person and perhaps lead to some solution.
Say you were crushing on a classmate but were too shy to ask him out. Now, you spend a lot of time making that scenario in your mind where you confronted your feelings for him, and he reciprocated.
It’s pretty common to obsess over fantasies, but what if I tell you that you could still connect with him, perhaps through social media or a mutual friend? Maybe your crush says no. Or maybe he says yes, and you finally get your date with him.
Either way, a closure can help you turn the page on those thoughts and move forward.
2. See beyond your feelings.
When you are infatuated by someone, you put them on a pedestal.
These exaggerated perceptions can easily take over your mind making it harder to let go of him. You can combat the situation by seeing him for who he really is.
Say you can’t let go of an ex. Instead of obsessing over him, thinking, “He was so perfect. I’ll never find anyone else like him,” ask yourself what made him remarkable. Figuring out specific attributes that drew you to someone can help you realize it might not be all that difficult to find someone else with similar characteristics.
3. Write it out instead of crying it out
Many people will advise you to cry it out. But it doesn’t always help. There are other methods that can help you begin exploring and accepting your thoughts to finally get them off your mind.
Journaling is one such approach. Many people associate journaling with their teenage years, but a journal can have benefits at any stage in life.
Journals offer private space to vent frustrations and come to terms with difficult emotions. It might even feel a little easier to identify the reasons behind these troubling thoughts when you write them down.
Many people find journaling meditative.
4. Use distractions
Seeking a hobby is also a great way to distract yourself when you can’t do anything to divert your thoughts. It shouldn’t replace acceptance and self-exploration, though.
As long as you are not using distractions to run away from your problems and emotions, it may work as an excellent short-term coping strategy.
Instead of simply letting your mind wander where it will, you can try focused distraction or redirect your thoughts to something specific.
A few helpful distractions to try:
- Read the book you’ve wanted to read for so long.
- Put on your favorite music.
- Watch a comedy movie.
- Talk to a friend.
- Head out in nature for a walk or jog.
5. Work on yourself.
Whether you want to divert your mind from your last love interest or a toxic breakup, it can help to focus on the most important person: yourself.
Some dedicated self-exploration can distract you from unwanted thoughts. It can also help rekindle your hobbies, personal interests, and other meaningful things.
You know, those things that so often take the highway when you get wrapped up in someone else’s thoughts.
The more you get in touch with yourself, the more you might notice ways your ex doesn’t quite meet your needs or align with the future you envision.
6. Keep a healthy distance
Out of sight, out of mind! Creating some space between your and the other person will go a long way in getting over him.
When you can’t avoid him entirely, these strategies can help:
- Temporarily unfollow or block his social media profiles,
- If you share the same friend circle, limit your hangouts for the immediate future.
- Avoid texting, calling, and otherwise maintaining regular contact with him.