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How To Be A Happy Introvert

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I never really knew I was an introvert till some of my friends poked me, saying, “You never come along to hang out with us.” I wasn’t part of the popular crowd back in school, but I had a decent amount of friends. When I moved to Singapore, my circle grew bigger with every job that I had and every new place I lived in.

Then I got married and had a kid. My social life slowed down, and it gradually became non-existent. It took some time and a life-changing experience, but I am more at peace and comfortable with myself – I’m finally a happy introvert! And I believe I’ve finally learned how to be one by doing the following things below:

5 Tips To Be A Happy Introvert

1. Stop comparing yourself to others

It’s one of those general rules in life – never ever compare yourself to anyone. Never compare yourself to someone who seems to be in a better position than you, nor compare yourself to someone who’s in a worse situation than you. 

Neither would bring you peace and happiness and would just waste your time. The time that should be better spent getting to know yourself and improving yourself.

This brings me to another point.

2. Accept and love yourself

We are all unique in our wonderful and quirky ways. We will never get along with everyone, and not everyone will get why we tend to be the way we are. So don’t bother making everyone like you. Better yet, make it a priority to like/ love yourself.

I remember trying my hardest to be this overly friendly and chatty person, cozying up to people that I barely liked, just because I want people to accept and like me. I didn’t realize then that fitting in and being accepted in a group isn’t just making me happy. 

So be comfortable in your own skin. And stop feeling sorry for yourself just because you’re different from the group. Live your truth; be yourself. Because that’s the only way, you’ll be truly happy.

3. Set a goal

One of the things that are keeping me busy is my goal of having a successful blog. I’ve been hyper-focused on that, to the point that I can’t even be bothered with any drama and gossip that I used to enjoy before. And I realized I’m actually happier without having to deal with all that negativity and cynicism.

Not only do I find myself becoming more positive, but I’m also learning a lot too!

I highly recommend setting a goal – either short-term or long-term for introverts and extroverts alike. It’s a good distraction if you’re going through something, plus you get tons of benefits from goal-setting, such as improving your focus, learning to manage expectations, and more.

4. Do more of what makes you happy

Have you ever tried something that you really enjoy, without being influenced by your family or friends?

Most of the time, we all get into this habit of doing certain activities just because we’ve been wired to do so and/or we want to fit in.

I remember going window shopping for hours with friends during the weekend, just because I wanted to feel like I’m part of the group even though I loathed it.

So figure out the things that truly make you happy. Look back and think of those times where you were in the zone – you’re in your element, you’re in your happiest, you’re focused, and time seems to pass by so quickly. 

List down the things and activities that you truly like/ love, without hearing your family or your friend’s opinion about it. 

But before you do that, go first to the next point.

5. Get to know yourself well

Are you even really an introvert? And even if you’re not, how well do you know yourself?

According to Merriam-webster, an introvert is a reserved, shy person who enjoys spending time alone. 

I don’t really agree with that, as personalities and introversion can be a spectrum. For, e.g., I’m shy sometimes, but I also tend to be sociable. I’m reserved, but I can also be outgoing and friendly. 

But at the end of the day, I mostly enjoy my quiet time. I’d rather stay at home than go out, so for the most part, I consider myself an introvert.


I believe to be truly, genuinely happy – introvert or not – starts with knowing yourself. Accept and embrace your weaknesses, your strengths, your faults, your quirkiness, your introversion. Love yourself – flaws and all.

The sooner you know and love yourself better, the sooner you figure out what you really want, the faster you’ll go to your happy place and live a more peaceful and content life as a happy introvert.

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Julie Ann Ensomohttps://www.adaptablemama.com/
Julie Ann Ensomo is happily married, with a rambunctious toddler and 2 cats living in Singapore. She works from home on a part-time basis but is also working on her blog. She likes listening to British comedians and watching quirky superhero-themed tv shows like The Umbrella Academy.

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