I really wish to be young again!
I strongly believe we would be young and in love again, only with the knowledge we have now. Oh, to have that perspective! My first real relationship was pretty weird and I made a lot of mistakes, so this article is for all the people out there who are about to start dating. If you have not yet entered the first relationship, read this and prepare for what is to come.
1. It’s easier to get together than to stay together
At first, it’s all about flirting. That is the best part of any relationship.
Butterflies in the stomach with each dialogue. Light and funny conversations. The first time you have your first late night, long conversation together and realize that your partner is more than just charming.
But everything that happens next is a real test. Both of you should start communicating and stop playing the pursuit game. I’ve been through both good and awkward transitions, and I can honestly say it’s a turning point as to whether you intend to have a real, honest relationship.
2. Getting over someone isn’t easy and it never will be.
Before I started dating, I didn’t fall hard for anyone. And when I started dating, I had a hard time getting over rejection for the first time.
You feel like you are on the same page, but suddenly find yourself blindsided. You feel so terrible and it’s hard to see your story end abruptly.
My best advice is to forget about this person. End the story. Anyone who makes you feel uncomfortable or worthless, they’re not worth it. I know it’s hard and it will take time, but when it comes to getting over someone, in the end, it’s the most powerful feeling in the world.
3. Unless you have given your commitment, it is okay to like more than one person at a time.
It would have been nice if I had known this in high school or even in college. Don’t fixate on just one person.
A person doesn’t deserve to be obsessed with you if they don’t actively pursue you or reciprocate the attention you give them. Date around. When you focus on one person, it closes off your options and opportunities.
4. Relationships are constant work.
I remember expecting someone to ask me out or pursue me growing up. When my classmates went out on dates, I wondered when my time would come.
When it finally happened, I realized that building a relationship was a daunting task. I always thought it would be a relationship kind of girl, but that was not the case.
I realized that I also had to pay attention to their needs. You have to be careful with text messages and check in a lot. You have to make time for each other and it’s a whole learning experience.
5. Never neglect your friends and family for that person.
Never-ever ditch your friends for your partner. Trust me! Your family and friends were there first. Do not think you can ignore them; they will be waiting for you if your relationship fails. It’s good to have a wide network, instead of just one person in your life, so make time for your other relationships.
6. You don’t belong to that person and nor do they belong to you.
Being in a relationship does not mean that you lose all of your sense of identity. You have your own interests and friends. At the same time, know that your partner also has their hobbies and social groups.
7. You can’t force someone to change.
This is one of the hardest lessons to learn (especially for women, we seem to want to change men). A person can behave as if they are changing to make you happy, but if they really don’t want to change, it may not last long.
8. Fall in love with yourself first.
And lastly, you first need to fall in love with yourself. Be in a relationship where you are in a good place in both your life and the relationship. And find a partner who has mastered self-love as well.
Otherwise, you will be dependent on each other. Feeling like you have to save someone or help them get to the right place or depend on someone else for the same can be emotionally draining.
You must love yourself before getting into a serious relationship, or you will create a serious but unhealthy relationship. So live your life and love at your own pace. Dating is exciting, but it’s also a roller coaster.