You felt like you had reached the pinnacle in your life; you felt freedom, not having to worry about your choices anymore. You were happy and proud of yourself.
The next minute you’re deep in self-sabotage, and you wonder why you’re starting to slide back into your old ways.
You feel like you’ve lost control, and you’re all of a sudden dissatisfied with yourself again.
All you wanted was to feel confident, and then your autopilot button subconsciously flicked on and took you straight back to the beginning of your old patterns that ooze self-destructive.
Why Did I Lose My Confidence?
Will I ask the question, “ did you really lose your confidence”?
Was confidence something you really, truly felt in your body or was it your ego telling you that you’re confident because you got better at something, you lost some weight, or you got a better job offer?
After basking in the glow of the excitement, you didn’t stop to ask yourself did I engage in confidence or did I validate myself with a pat on the back and recognition from others that I’m good at something or that I did the right thing and got approval and praise?
I know you don’t want to hear it, but why do you keep going around in circles trying to go back to embodying this so-called confidence?
Shouldn’t confidence be a consistent practice, not a seat filler that you’ve been saving a spot for?
Like anything that’s worth working for, it’s not easy working on yourself. It takes effort, drive, and determination to really stretch ourselves to leave the cozy comfort zone.
It’s warm and inviting, like your favorite fluffy blanket that you wrap yourself in on those cold nights. It smells good, feels good, and will comfort you to have the most beautiful slumber, in fact, the best one you’ve had in weeks.
Your comfort zone lured you back in, and you fell into your old habits – so what now?
If confidence is a consistent practice, then how can I get myself to believe in myself?
The Bad-Ass List
Craft a list consists of your top ten badass moments where you were so proud of yourself that you’re even still in awe of those achievements.
Handwrite your top ten points that have made an impact on your life, print them & laminate them or pop them on your screen saver.
Every time you doubt yourself, this will kick start your self-respect, and you’ll feel proud.
Recognizing Self Talk & The Inner Critic
Your personal Carrie Bradshaw moment will make you ask yourself, “I couldn’t help but wonder when my inner critic is going to come out and rain on my parade again.”
You know the voice that tells you you’re not worthy, you’re not good enough – pretty enough, skinny enough, young enough. Actually, all the “enough” in the book aren’t a match for the inner critic. It shows up as a voice that wants to make sure you’re sabotaged as much as possible & gets in the way of you achieving your dreams.
The inner critic is the BFF to your limiting beliefs – the ones that you don’t even know you have. They are deeply rooted in the subconscious mind.
The inner critic comes up to protect you and wrap you up in that warm, inviting fluffy blanket again.
No wonder you’ve lost your confidence; there is always a sword fight that was not going in your favor to keep you feeling defeated.
The Mind Map
Get a pen and a piece of paper, put your name in the middle of the page and start writing out words to describe yourself.
It could be words such as kind, hopeful, dreamer, optimist, ambitious, to name a few…
The goal is to see what you really think of yourself, It could shock you, and you may find it hard to describe the way you think you see yourself.
Your words could look like this – negative, unworthy, and a work in progress, and that is where you really start to figure out your next steps of how to be confident.
Because you are touching on points, you need to strengthen to get your self-worth to its next level to shift the momentum and grow yourself. Your current way of thinking has to be recognized to move forward.
True Embodiment Of Confidence
- You can wear a T-shirt and not worry about your arms. You can go to the pool and not live in guilt.
- And shame around how your body looks.
- You see your reflection, and you don’t pick on yourself.
- You can have a soft stomach and be ok with it.
- You have self-respect about your decisions and what you will put up with and not.
- You create boundaries.
- You protect yourself, you say no and mean it, you give yourself grace, and so on.
The day you can say I am enough, I am worthy, and I love myself is the day you embody the confidence that you can take consistently on this journey that you call your life.
Because it’s your life, your experiences & your choices that lead you to where you are today.
Confident or not – that’s up to what you want to put into it & how much self-love you are willing to gift yourself.
No one else can decide that for you, so I can’t help but wonder when you will move forward & be willing to ask yourself – why not me?