It wasn’t until very recently that I realized if I wanted to be confident in my own skin, I was going to need to do some serious inner work. I began to read self-help books and listen to podcasts about stepping into your purpose, and I realized that answer to my lack of self-confidence had been within me all along.
Self-confidence is something I have struggled with my whole life.
What I discovered is that I was disconnected from my spirit or intuition. I used to fight my instincts at every corner. Despite my body trembling or my heart pounding, I continued to put myself in positions where I was left to question my self-worth, my sanity, and my overall existence. I was also constantly miserable because I had submerged myself in a life that was not serving me. By connecting to and honoring my intuition, I have been able to sit in my authentic self. Despite all my demons, I am able to learn and grow from each challenge because I am learning how to love myself first.
My lack of self-confidence leads me down several dark paths.
I am not one to feel ashamed of my past; I try to be simply thankful I survived it. To feel as though you are not enough is something I think we can all relate to. Inadequacy is hard to outrun in our current society. It is a dark hole to be in. My hope for everyone who reads this is that you know you are enough.
Self-confidence stems from a knowing.
A feeling that, when you observe someone else’s success, it doesn’t make you feel less than or intimidated, but makes you feel empowered and excited. To know that if they can do it, then so can you. It is the ability to move forward in life, knowing that you are on the right path, even if you have missteps. It is all part of your growth. It knows that celebrating others’ successes doesn’t take away from our own; it only draws it closer because we are all one.
Self-confidence is the emotions that come when you are excited about your own successes.
The thoughts that tell you “I deserve this” or “I am worthy”. Listen to those thoughts. Hold them in your mind and repeat them daily. Words are powerful, use them wisely, and they can be your own personal cheer squad.
Checking in with our gut is the fastest way to building self-confidence.
You are less likely to feel as lost when you are connected to your intuition. It is like your spiritual GPS. Pay attention to how you feel and where you feel it in every situation. These feelings exist to guide us. The more we feel guided and supported, the more confident we are.
Self-confidence means standing in your authenticity, even when it feels uncomfortable.
It is accepting that not everyone is going to like you or appreciate you. Sometimes they will flat-out hate you. Have confidence knowing that you will be okay regardless. It takes self-confidence to stand alone when it seems easier to blend in. Confidence is knowing that sometimes we are meant to be the outsider. Don’t fight it; while we are busy trying to fit in, we actually fulfill our exact purpose by standing out.
Being self-confident takes serious mind control.
Unless you were born into a family with little to zero trauma, our self-confidence could be negatively impacted even before we start going to pre-school. Overhearing negative conversations can impact the development of our confidence. If all a child hears every day from their caregiver is negative speech, even if they can’t speak themselves yet, they hear it, and they are affected. Self-confidence is a learned behavior.
Self-confidence means becoming unattached to all outcomes.
It means putting yourself out there even if you feel afraid. Do it afraid. Be brave and know that you are being lead to something greater. With every “No” you hear, say “Thank You”. Because behind one of those “no’s” is a YES. Self-confidence is the courage and the mind power to keep moving towards your dreams despite all the universe throws at you, remain tenacious.
Self-confidence is going after a job that you feel underqualified for.
Realize that you only feel underqualified because of the “imposter syndrome” that has convinced us we are not smart enough, good enough, educated enough, or ready enough. We ARE enough. We were born enough. We always will be enough.
Self-confidence is the ability to walk away from situations that do not serve our higher purpose.
It is the ability to create and maintain loving, healthy boundaries. It means knowing that sometimes we love people who don’t love us back. And sometimes we want people to understand us who are committed to misunderstanding us. It knows that we are all on our own path, and sometimes it is okay to say good-bye and thank you to the people who have hurt us because they have taught us more about how to love ourselves. When you finally can love yourself more than you love the people who hurt you, you will find your confidence.
Self-confidence is a state of mind.
Only you hold the keys to unlock it.