I’ll be the first one to admit that I have trouble letting go when it comes to relationships. I do not have a quitting personality and I think that many times I will continue things that are dead simply out of not giving up. I believe as humans people will stay with what they know and what is familiar even if it is toxic or no longer serving them. Through numerous relationships in my early twenties, I continued this pattern of not quitting simply because I had already invested so much of my time, energy, and efforts into these people. If you are unsure of how or when to let go, then here are some signs to look for when the relationship is over.
1. Lack of communication
Communication is everything in a relationship. Couples with strong communication skills are usually able to work things out because they are willing to listen to each other. It’s one thing for your partner to be lacking communication skills and not understanding where you or coming from. It’s a whole other thing for them to be willing to not even try to understand your point of view or communicate with you.
2. They stop taking initiative
Are you the one who’s constantly planning date nights, trips, or even time to hang out at their place? Are you constantly the one who’s taking the lead in decisions and even texting first simply to say ‘good morning’ then it’s time to let go. A relationship involves two people and you deserve equal initiative.
3. You feel stuck
This is a sure sign to know when to let go of a relationship. If the relationship begins to feel more like an obligation than a commitment then it’s time to let go. Sure, you may care about this person, but it’s really not fair to them or to you to be in a relationship that feels more like a chore than a commitment. You deserve better and so do they.
4. The spark is gone
Some would say passion is overrated, and to an extent I would agree. However, everyone starts with a spark in a relationship. It’s necessary to find ways to keep that passion and romance alive, especially if you’re in a long term relationship. If your partner isn’t even trying to be passionate, loving, or affectionate towards you then it’s probably time to let go. You deserve to feel wanted and so do they. Let it go.
5. They stop saying ‘I love you’
Most people I know don’t say ‘I love you’ for the first time lightly. There’s always the fear that the other person won’t say it back or feel the same way. Once couples have reached this stage though, there’s a level of mutual trust and understanding that you both feel the same way. Once your partner stops saying it though, know that it’s not for nothing. They probably don’t feel comfortable saying it because that’s no longer how they feel. Then it simply becomes awkward being the person in the relationship that always says it first. I know this is a hard truth to hear, but you need someone who actually reminds you that they do love you. Let it go.
If any of these signs are evident in your relationship then it’s probably time to let it go. I’ve learned a lot through past relationships, but most recently I’ve learned that I’d rather be alone and on my own than feel alone in a relationship with someone who I really cared about. There’s always something else waiting for you on the other side. It’s time to let it go.