Even though humans are the only known species that have words to communicate with, we also communicate nonverbally through body language. Body language relates to facial expressions, posture, eye movements, and gestures.
When it comes to our relationships, body language has an even bigger impact than words when it comes to our relationships. Nonverbal communication can make a partner feel good or bad about themselves. It can make them feel respected or completely ignored.
1. Pay attention when spoken to.
When you get uninterested in a conversation with your partner, you may zone out, and it can come across as offensive. We all want our partners to look into our eyes and nod at regular intervals when we are telling a story. This assures us that they listen to everything we are saying and pay full attention. Whereas, if you keep scrolling through your phone or watching TV and barely respond while they are speaking, it shows that you aren’t as interested in what they’re saying.
2. Offer a soothing touch
All you need to relieve tension is a soothing touch. Most misunderstandings and arguments can be resolved with just one touch. All you need is a warm gesture. A subtle touch to increase intimacy. Touching your partner in a reassuring gesture can increase oxytocin secretion, boost confidence, and reduce stress. Kissing and hugging your partner not only comforts them but also keeps your romance alive. So the next time you have an argument, avoid it with a touch.
3. Have a welcoming attitude
The way we sit with our loved ones says a lot about us. You might remember the episode of Big Bang Theory where Penny teaches Sheldon how he can look welcoming and open on screen through his body language. If you cross your arms and turn your legs in another direction, it shows you are uninterested in the conversation. This is the closed body gesture. Sit facing your partner so that your body language and posture are mirrored with them, conveying equality and trust. Open arms and legs and legs facing the partner represent a comfortable and friendly attitude. You seem more attracted and genuinely interested in conversations.
Role of body language in conflict
But what about the times when you and your partner are in a conflict. What role does your body language play in resolving or aggravating a fight?
Patti Wood, a Body Language expert, explains how you can use body language in your favor and avoid making a scene with your partner.
Patti said, “A man in that situation should try to sit side by side with the woman because that would make him feel less defensive and confrontational. If the guy is very upset, the woman can say let’s sit side by side and talk about us. If the woman is more upset, she would feel more comfortable sitting face to face so that she can read all the non-verbal cues.”
“I would recommend trying to slow things down after a fight. Slowing the pace helps keep very violent and aggressive non-verbal cues from overwhelming the conversation. Another thing is to slow down the speech for the very same reason. It will trick the central nervous system into thinking this can’t be scary, high conflict because we are going slow. So it’s actually changing your body language so that your brain doesn’t send cortisol, the stress hormone, to your body, so there is less likelihood of increased conflict.”
She continued, “The one thing that is pretty obvious but important is to sit down. Sometimes you get so upset that you want to stand in battle, but it is easier for you to raise your voice and stay in anger when you are standing. So sitting down is a way of calming the body down.”
She even gave an effective tip that would help you and your partner remind that it is you two against the problem, not you two against each other. “Another thing to do is when you start talking, look into your partner’s eyes and ask them to look into yours. And as you both gaze into each other’s eyes, silently count to 10 as a reminder that your connection is the most powerful thing. The most important thing is your relationship with that other person, and as you build that connection, it is harder for you to go into conflict because it will remind you that you care about the person.
Another possibility is to hold hands. This will again emphasize the connection you two have with each other. It will change your emotional state, making you less likely to get ugly with the other person,” she concluded.