With the COVID-19 crisis, most communities all over the world are in quarantine or lockdown. This does not only affect the jobs of many, but a lot of relationships suffer too.
Since we have been married, this is the first time that my husband and I have been away for a long time. I was about to get our baby from my hometown, where we left him for a while due to work, and sadly, we got caught in the community lockdown. For this reason, hubby has been home alone for some time now.
We have discovered several problems that could arise due to the distance between us. They include communication gap, loneliness, and even trust issue. Of course, we must not let these overpower us, that is why we have come up with several adjustments.
If you are in a long-distance relationship, I would like to share with you some of the ways that could help you nurture it (these are helping us too).
1. Never lack communication:
Communication is always the key to whatever relationship. If there is a constant, clear, and eager communication between the two of you, misunderstanding can be avoided. Therefore, no matter how busy or far you are from each other, always give enough time to talk. Do not get tired of starting or ending your day checking on each other.
2. Be creative in keeping your communication passionate:
To avoid boredom in your LDR, it should always be dynamic. Don’t settle with the usual routine of asking questions like, “Have you eaten yet?”, “What are you doing?”, or “How’s your day?”.
Instead, you should come up with unpredictable and thrilling activities, such as a video call serenade, or talking about interesting topics like where you’d have your first date once you can see each other.
3. Don’t be too demanding for time:
Yes, it’s important to check on each other daily and have quality time regularly. However, please remember that your words don’t revolve around each other. That’s why it would be unhealthy to be talking all the time and reporting even the most trivial activities, like going to the toilet or brushing your teeth.
Demanding that your partner must be available for you all the time would cause too much pressure and strain on him/her. It’s like depriving him/her of privacy and self-time.
4. Agree to be transparent to each other:
Trust is very important in a long-distance relationship. However, the problem is that it is hard to maintain that when you can’t see each other.
For this reason, there should be transparency. Not that you need to report everything to your partner, like what I mentioned in no. 3. However, you should be willing to let your partner know everything—like you are confident because you’re not hiding anything.
Not everyone is comfortable sharing passwords with their partner. Nevertheless, having access to each other’s social media accounts can increase your sense of security, since there is no secrecy. (Just bear in mind that this does not mean you get the right to meddle with your partner’s conversations and transactions.)
5. Never lie:
In connection with no. 4, honesty plays a big role in securing trust in a relationship. That is why you should never lie or even tell half-truths to your partner. Once s/he discovers that you have lied, that would make it hard for him/her to trust your words next time. It would lead to unending suspicions, which could cause conflicts because you’d get tired of them.
6. Set ground rules for your relationship:
To minimize disagreements in your relationship, it is necessary to clear up boundaries and come up with rules. Just like how laws are made to guarantee peace and order, the rules in your relationship—if carefully followed—will help avoid conflicts. You may have differences, but at least these can make you meet halfway.
Some of the ground rules to set can be to what extent you are allowed to mingle with people from the opposite sex; budgeting and expenses; and communication arrangements.
7. Settle conflicts with objective resolutions:
Of course, sometimes conflicts can’t be avoided. Misunderstanding or miscommunication is common in LDRs. It’s hard to reconcile with the communication barrier. To prevent the issue from deepening, both of you must decide to talk objectively about the situation.
What you need to do is to cool down first. Then decide to forgive each other for whatever said and done. Instead of going back to the issue, again and again, find out how it can be avoided in the future.
8. Have more faith in your relationship:
Faith is being sure of what you hope for. In whatever kind of relationship, nothing is certain. However, if both of you are sure that you want your relationship to last, then you must work it out together. As long as you both believe that it’s all worth it, you can always surpass the obstacles and conflicts your relationship encounters.
9. Set a prayer time together:
As a couple who believe in God, we try our best to make Him the centre of our marriage. We believe that with all our personal flaws, we cannot survive our relationship on our own. That is why we make it a habit to pray for it together as a sign of surrender—and we see it working.
Therefore, I really encourage all other couples to pray and seek God together. Even if you are apart, you can still pray together. Just set a time and list down the prayer concerns. Or you can pray over the phone or during your video call.
Keep the Love Alive:
Distance may keep you physically apart, but your love can thrive emotionally, mentally, and spiritually. All you need is to give the same amount of effort and determination to keep the love alive.