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Expert Advice: I want to be a Homemaker, but my father wants me to Pursue Medicine. What Should I Do?

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Expert advisor- Aruna Dontabhaktuni

I want to be a homemaker, but my father is a famous heart surgeon and wants me to pursue medicine as well. When I tell him about my wish he says that I am being lazy and will always be dependent on my husband.

Father’s perspective: I am a progressive citizen of this country and firmly believe in women’s empowerment. I don’t want my daughter to be dependent on her husband for money, and I want her to have a successful and fulfilling career.

Daughter’s perspective: I know my father is a believer in women’s empowerment, but I am not interested in medicine, nor do I have the aptitude for it. My mother is also a doctor, and she had to work long shifts. Even on her days off, she would always get emergency calls and had to rush to the hospital. Because of this, she couldn’t spend much time with me. I greatly respect my mother for her services to humankind, but I don’t want my kids to grow up without me. Ever since childhood, I have known family is very important to me; therefore, I want to be a homemaker.   

Expert’s advice for the Father: Women’s empowerment is not just about women having successful careers but also about letting them make their own choices. If you don’t agree with her on something and feel the need to weigh in, you can do that, but you can’t make decisions on her behalf. 

Expert’s advice for the Daughter: If you believe in something, you must fight to be heard. Talk to your father and tell him why being a homemaker- matters to you. Why is it close to your heart? At the same time, your father is right about being financially independent. But being a doctor takes a lot of involvement, and if you don’t think you have the aptitude for it, you can do something else that interests you and pay enough to support yourself. 

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