There is a thin line between being persuasive and being manipulative. This fine line either makes your relationship or breaks it into pieces. Let’s understand the two words with separate examples per se.
Word Meaning With Examples
The art of cooly and calmly convincing someone with your viewpoint to choose a particular option for the betterment of theirs and yours
The result of that someone can be yes or no.
There is no hard and fast rule from the one persuading that the answer should be yes.
Example:- A salesman convinces his client into buying an AC because it will benefit the client in the summer.
The art of forcibly and unilaterally convincing someone with your viewpoint to opt for a particular option for the betterment of yours, alone and not for theirs
The result of that someone should be yes. There is no space for a no.
There is a hard and fast rule from the manipulative person that the answer should be yes.
Example:- A daughter wants to choose arts as her subject of study. But her father manipulates her into choosing medicine instead of arts because he wanted to become a doctor when he was young. And he could not become one because of a lack of support from his parents.
How can you be persuasive without being manipulative?
Here are five ways in which you can become persuasive without sounding or being manipulative –
1. Understand the language of your audience
If someone understands the language or slang words, use them. If they prefer to talk humbly and out in the open air, go for a walk with them. And, if someone likes to chat only when they are not busy doing something else, then wait for them to finish their work.
Always bear in mind the language and form in which your audience will comprehend your viewpoint. Some people like to listen only when someone listens to them first. So hear them out first, then present them with your view.
2. Show them both sides of the coin.
When you have to be persuasive, show them both the positives and negatives of your viewpoint. To successfully convince involves showing them how something will benefit them and how it will not benefit them. If other perspectives and potential outcomes are clear beforehand, they would love to hear more about your viewpoints.
3. Choose to be calm and composed.
Your tongue is your ticket to persuasion. You can either convince people with your speech or lose them.
It’s necessary to watch your tone before- you open your mouth. The temper can get the better of someone. It can affect someone gravely. If your pitch is rude, no one would want to wait to know your viewpoint.
Make sure you are calm and composed and choose words wisely. Being tranquil and having a humble tone will not just make you persuasive, but that someone will come to you for more viewpoints or options.
4. It is never going to be about YOU.
When you remove YOU from the viewpoint, you will make space for THEM. Only when you make space for people – will you convince them into doing something.
Using sentences that begin with, I THINK, I FEEL, I WANT, I HATE, I WOULD LIKE, and I SUPPOSE will not help. Instead, think about what would benefit them from your viewpoint. Try to wear their shoes and feel the pain. To convince someone into doing something involves never talking about yourself, but only talking about them.
5. Never show them your prospectus.
Your prospectus is to make someone choose your viewpoint. You must never show people your prospectus. Once they know it, they will not follow your perspective.
Instead, they will term you as manipulative. And you particularly don’t want that. You are reading this article because you want to sound and become persuasive and not manipulative, right?
Wear confidence in your sleeves and show them how something will benefit them alone. Never show them how it will favor you.
Focusing on the WE aspect will help you for the long haul. Converging on the ME aspect will take you farther from your goal of convincing someone.
Let your body do the talking. Open body language can help bundles. An open-body language is not closing your arms/legs and not making yourself look insignificant.
Being persuasive is a skill very few can master, but you can always give it a try! Let us know what you think.