In the age of technology, love could be right at your fingertips via your phone or laptop. Singles all over the world are turning to apps and online dating sites in hopes of finding “the one.” In fact, there are over 30 million online daters in the United States alone! As a luxury matchmaker for over two decades, I’ve talked to thousands of singles who have tried their luck in online dating.
If you have been single in the past ten years, chances are you have already at least browsed online dating sites or dating apps. According to Pew Research Center, 30% of Americans say that they have used an online dating site or dating app. No matter what avenue you use to meet new people, dating can be challenging. Online dating presents its own unique set of challenges. Here are some tips to help you successfully navigate the world of online dating….
1. Screen and Vet Your Matches
As a matchmaker, I have an extensive screening process. You can also screen and vet potential matches to weed out anyone who may not be a good fit or (even worse) a potential con artist. You can do this by getting the individuals full name and the city they live in.
Once you have that information, look for their Facebook or Twitter to verify who they are. A quick google search may also turn up any criminal history or court records. Take your time to research anyone you are considering meeting in person.
2. Be honest
It’s tempting to use the photo you love from 5 years ago where you were 10 lbs lighter, but don’t do it! Make sure your profile photos are up-to-date and reflect what you look like now. Pew Research has found that 71% of online daters say it is prevalent for people on these platforms to lie about themselves to appear more desirable.
Online daters are expecting that the profiles they are viewing are dishonest, so being someone who displays honesty and integrity will make you stand out when you meet someone in person.
3. Ditch the laundry list of “must-haves.”
I always tell my clients to identify a few of the core values that they are looking for in a partner and then be flexible on everything else. Every woman wants a man over 6′ tall, but the reality is that you can fall in love with someone who is 5’9″. Don’t disregard someone as a great potential partner based on superficial criteria. Identify three to five “must-haves” and then identify other qualities that are “nice to have.”
4. Avoid the “bigger, better deal syndrome.”
According to Barry Schwartz, author of The Paradox of Choice, too much choice causes the feeling of less happiness, less satisfaction, and can even lead to paralysis.
Online dating gives us so many choices that it can seem impossible ever to feel confident enough to choose without thinking that the next one might be even better. This is human nature when presented with too many choices. When you meet someone amazing, focus on that person! Don’t get back online to see if you can find someone better!
5) Be positive!
Online dating can be frustrating, but you have to remain positive. When you meet someone new, don’t talk about the negative experiences you have had with online dating. I always tell my clients that when you are genuinely seeking a loving relationship, you should be putting nothing but good vibes out into the universe!
If you are dating online, be prepared to invest the time into screening matches and meeting dates in person. If you are not ready to spend the time, online dating will be a crapshoot.
Professional matchmakers dedicate forty+ hours per week vetting matches for our clients. You don’t need to make it a full-time job, but you have to be dedicated and focused to make online dating work for you! It’s essential to also be strategic with your time.
Don’t waste hours texting or emailing back and forth with a potential match. Meet in person after a couple of exchanges to see if there is a connection.
If there’s not a connection, you will have saved hours of email exchanges. If you approach online dating with a clear strategy, you can be successful in finding the right match!