Friendship is the most beautiful relationship in this world. We make friends since our childhood, in school until the time we turn adults, even into old age. The buddies who remain with us for better or worse are those we select when we’re young; they know us for who we are and accept us in that form.
However, it’s possible to develop connections with work colleagues, acquaintances we meet through our social network, contacts we build due to shared hobbies, and so on.
It’s quite natural that in our individual journeys, we drift away from some pals while some prevail. Physical distance, responsibilities, and lack of time are reasons to lose contact with most friends. But what merits deliberation is, do we recognize and value our friendships?
We choose our friends, spend maximum time with them, hence it’s important to choose wisely to keep them for life. Ultimately, everybody craves happiness & peace, and having a friend’s circle that provides us that is worth striving for.
So, how do we spot the differences between real and fake friends? Sharing my experiences here:
Real friends accept you the way you are; fake friends expect you to be one of them.
You needn’t bother with a real friend if you’re grumpy at times, excited in another; they care about you as a person and accept you, no conditions attached.
Fake friends make you feel guilty for who you are. They want you to be like them; they make you feel inferior if you don’t fit into their slot.
Real friends make you feel good; fake friends make you feel low
When you’re surrounded by real pals, you feel energized, inspired, and happy. True friends make you laugh; they bring out the best in you. When you meet real friends, time stops – you just take off from the point you left the last time around.
Fake friends sap your energy, they are critical, overbearing and you’ll feel under pressure in their midst. If there’s a positive vibe with true friends, amongst fake friends, there’s negativity in the air.
Real friends forgive your mistakes; fake friends ignore/are intolerant.
A real friend realizes that everyone makes mistakes, and if you’re genuinely apologizing, they’ll forgive you. You may receive a mouthful initially, but finally, they’ll be ready to accept your apology.
Fake friends may be ruthless, refusing to pardon you for silly mistakes. In fact, they make you feel mortified for the act. They may even be the types who end up ignoring the fact that you owned up to the lapse, making you feel further remorseful.
Real friends call you out, fake friends, please, or don’t care.
If we goof up on something or said something inappropriate, a true friend will have the courage to pinpoint the fault in a respectful and mindful manner. They’ll not judge; they wish you to be a better person through learning from this experience. Honesty and openness are indicators of genuine friendship.
Superficial friends are oblivious to your behavior; they are either trying to gratify to continue being your friend or don’t care either way.
Real friends are always present; fake ones want only happy times.
Real friends are a constant in your life – whether physically or figuratively, ready to support you through the highs and lows. They act as pillars of strength during the rough patches, you can cry on their shoulder, get a warm hug, or they lend you their ears when all you need is a listen.
You’ll see phony friends around when the going’s easy, ready to party when you’re celebrating accomplishments but quickly disappear during adversities. Clearly, they’re involved when life is a bed of roses, evading when you truly need love and understanding.
Real friends encourage your pursuits; fake friends discourage you.
If you crave to try something new – a new hobby, a career switch, or are even considering a sabbatical, genuine mates are understanding of your decisions. They may not fully get the reason for the longing. Still, they’ll encourage and prod you towards that dream. They’ll give frank feedback if required but never stifle your thought process.
Pretense friends will discourage, even demotivate your endeavors. Instead of boosting confidence in this new phase, they’ll disapprove, find faults with your judgment and chide you for taking the risk.
Real friends stand up for you; fake friends avoid conflicts.
Your close chums will have your back, no matter what. Because they understand you, your quirks, when push comes to shove, they’ll bravely fight alongside you. If they are individuals who call you out when you’ve made a mistake, be rest assured, they’ll be loyal during arguments and confrontations.
Shallow friends never participate during quarrels; you’ll find them sitting on the fence or just keeping quiet. They’ll be disconnected, willing to be neutral instead of voicing their opinions.
I’ve acquired groups of friends through the course of my life and take pride that my social network endured with those I befriended later. However, my childhood/school friendships developed into steady and strong bonds. I am aware, I acknowledge, and appreciate the reality that they remain my devoted supporters till this day; the feeling is mutual – I’ll cherish and value them forever.
Diverse categories of friends are essential; however, if you’re mindful of distinguishing the precious ones from the regular crowd, life will be worth living.
With your special gang of friends for life, you’ll never feel deprived of nurturing relationships that fill you and your personal environment with joy and contentment.
Happy International Friendship Day!