Love in The Time of Covid

Chapter 11: Love in The Time of Covid

Marriage

Time together for the couple is obviously needed, but when you analyze the lockdown in this pandemic, it has forced us to face more than we expected. Remember all those annoying habits we may have overlooked; well, they are back with a vengeance.

Every second of every day for the last year being with one another might have been a dream situation before now but has turned into a nightmare of unforeseen circumstances. Arguments, separate rooms, and talk of divorce have been filtered in with all the sad news of death and sickness.

A resounding echo off the walls in our houses is ‘we can be together every minute of the day or we can stay married’, so we must ask ourselves, is that true?

Facing a pandemic as a couple can be helpful to the psyche because we are not alone. However, in wait problems arise when there is nothing new but the same old household in a continuous cycle. Contrary to popular beliefs there is a certain amount of quality time one should spend with a partner. Although with so many of us working from home now or not working at all, we tend to find irritation, frustration, and stress ruling our relationships when we do not get the time to ourselves, we need.

  • Somebody’s watching me. Between our binge-watching and projects is the realization that the strange life we find ourselves living will be for the long haul. The eyes in the household now follow you and wonder why you are on your phone so much or question how you spend your time daily. This can be a great moment to set boundaries.  
  • Read the privacy notice. There is truly little privacy now especially if everyone gathers in close quarters. I find that locking yourself in one room to work, to read, or get alone time can be a suitable solution. Make sure you and your spouse can agree to separate areas of your confinement. 
  • Alone together. This phrase is something we have gotten used to over the past year, but even though most couples are together, sometimes you may feel more alone than ever. Without the physical interaction of all your friends and family, you are only left with certain people in your Covid bubble, trying to keep real communication not so distant.

Divorce during this time has spiked across America for reasons that are confusing. Is it that we did not know who we married or has a busy life kept the wool over our eyes?

Related: 5 Tips For Keeping Active During The Pandemic While Staying Safe at Home

Especially in quarantine, stress and depression can play a big part in our mental health. Anger or excitement can control how we address others.

Financial issues can turn an already tense situation over the top. Without the monotony of everyday distractions, we are left to face one another without the mask, so to speak.  

  • The difference between us. When opposites attract in the beginning it is easy to see the balance created but as the years go by and people change, we can find that the gap is bigger than a canyon. Families get bigger, mindsets get prioritized into different facets, losing the balance of that common ground.
  • Chances are. If this pandemic had not come to consume us with losses and fear, where would we find ourselves today? It is without a doubt an eye-opener that might have sped up the processes of the things we could no longer ignore. It has also shined a spotlight on our compassion for humanity and the ones we love wholeheartedly.
  • Emotion and money. When the world stopped turning last year and job loss was at an all-time high, everything was on pause except for our emotions. Although we can see no way out in that instance, we must look beyond just today because what tomorrow brings can open the door to the appreciation that we still have each other. 

Some say Idle hands are hands of the devil. So, what you decide to fill your time with can have consequences in a marriage. Binge-watching seasons of your favorite shows, can of course be harmless but unlike opening a book to read, we can turn to the wrong behaviors.

Social media can be fun and interactive but on the other hand, may lead you astray. Finding a hobby that does not include social media might be a good way to keep yourself out of trouble. Keep busy with things that will not cause any more worry in your life.

Related: 3 Self-care Tips In The Time Of a Pandemic

  • Quarantine your habit. The obstacles in life can challenge us to find habitual release. Some people with too much time on their hands find escape by reaching out for other forms of comfort. Propaganda videos, extremist movements, or even a so-called harmless interaction with people in different countries, all can be a step in the wrong direction, so do not engage in distracting behavior like these.
  • Don’t come around here anymore. Whether your thing is Twitter, Instagram or Facebook, etc. Stay on the right side by not excepting direct messages from people you do not know. Men and women can be predators looking for money or other intrigues to cause problems. In times like these, we all want an escape, but some diversions can be a ploy. 
  • Tough times, better days. In the worst year, I can recall, we all need a little hope and a whole lot of optimism. In the chances your relationship did not suffer, the growth shared in small spaces can lead to big headways in any stifling marriage. 

Related: Fun Games for Couples: Printable Activities During Quarantine

Challenges in a crisis can be one situation but another when the whole world suffers from the same calamity. We need to be there for one another, especially when times get rough. Hopefully, we realized our shortcomings and found ways to get along amid these unusual times with some blessings realized along the way. 

As we have all learned in this pandemic, things do not and will not go as planned, like the old Yiddish Proverb says: Man plans, God laughs. What tomorrow may bring, no one knows, so live for today, love one another, and always be grateful for the breath in your lungs.

Angela Parish
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