A few months ago, I was too excited as I walked down the aisle towards the man I love. He was dashing and excited, too. As I look around, our guests are all smiling, and I was so grateful to have them as part of that special day. I know that wedding day will be the start of my life’s new chapter – as a wife and home’s caretaker.
Now, I can say that marriage is not just a union of two hearts promising to love and hold each other forever. It is also a learning experience, a practical adjustment, and indeed a decision you need to stand for day by day.
Being married is both an exciting and challenging part of your life. There will be ups and downs, but you will catch yourself smiling at the end of the day because you have learned something special from that person who is dear to your heart.
I often hear from some couples that there is no perfect marriage. And I bet that is true! But despite the difficulties and challenges, I am always grateful for all the learnings that our marriage is teaching us.
I found out that the following are important lessons that will help make a marriage stronger and more successful.
Accept and appreciate each other’s flaws and differences
Our little arguments start when preparing our breakfast. He wants coffee with cream, and I want my coffee black. He wants scrambled eggs; I want sunny-side-up ones. We often have different views when it comes to several things. He wants something to be done in a way that I don’t agree with. In some things, we are the complete opposite. Yet, we end up laughing at each other, dreaming together. Honestly, I often miss our petty misunderstandings; those little fights seem to make us stronger.
I learned that we are still two different individuals. I have my own choices, and he has his preferences. I make mistakes, and so he does. It could be challenging to deal with those flaws and differences. But what I found out is that the only way to handle them is through acceptance and appreciation.
Never try to change who your partner is. Yes, you can suggest some ways on how he/she can improve bad behavior, but to change the whole person is a big No-no! When you learn how to accept the person you married, you will live each day with a grateful heart to have such a wonderful person beside you.
Say “Thank You” and “I Love You” each day
My husband always wants to hear sweet words from me. He is clingy and loves being touched. On the other hand, I was not that showy. But then I learned that each day could be made better when you say “Thank You” and “I love you” to your partner. It’s more than just music to the ear, but they are comforting words to the soul. Saying “Thank You” for an effort – big or small- can make a huge impact. It makes your partner feel appreciated. Saying “I Love You” or showing how you are dear to your partner will make your relationship more special. These words are a reminder that the two of you understand and complement each other. Getting used to it will prepare both of you to face anything in the future.
Discover new adventures
A relationship doesn’t need to be dull and boring. We all want to feel happy, excited, and motivated, right? A couple should also try new adventures, new hobbies, and new discoveries. Take a break from your work to visit a new destination in your area. Or, you can spend the weekend on a camping trip or hiking.
New adventures can create new bonding moments for the two of you. It will be an exciting way as well to discover new qualities of your partner. You will not only learn new skills and places, but you will also be able to gain new experiences together.
Share your dreams to nurture your home
Put in mind that you are not just building a house – you should be building a home. So, nurture it as the family you want to build. Ask about the dreams of your partners. Share your dreams, too. There is magic when two people are sharing dreams together – with passion, love, and direction.
Don’t forget to take care of your health
Never underestimate the power of good health for both of you. You need to be both healthy physically, mentally, and emotionally. My job is overwhelming, and I need to work long hours a day; that is why it is very challenging to get enough hours of sleep. However, we find ways on how to solve that. I am lucky my husband is helping me with the chores at home. We opt to choose healthy foods and stay away from unhealthy meals. Supplements can also help; just make sure you consult your doctor first whenever you are going to use any medication.
Keep in mind that you’re now working in a partnership when it comes to health. Do not try to disregard the fact that you need to stay healthy for your family. Avoid alcoholic drinks, smoking, and other vices.
Respect each other
Respect, indeed, is one of the most vital elements that a marriage should have. Without it, your married life will be at risk of failing. Learn to listen first to your partner’s decision before you disagree. Understand that he/she can have values that are different from yours. Do not force your partner to change or disregard the beliefs and values he/she has been holding on to.
Learn to respect each other’s privacy, too. Admit it or not, every one of us needs time for ourselves sometimes. Sometimes, we need to cry alone, think alone, and go out alone. But that doesn’t mean that we’re building walls on the relationship. It’s giving ourselves an opportunity for self-love and confidence.
Have open communication
What is a relationship without good communication? Indeed, it will be chaos! Misunderstandings will grow, and problems may start to arise. I learned that open communication is a powerful tool to maintain a good marriage. Do not be afraid of telling your partner the sentiments that you have. Let him/her know what you feel, and do this in a good way. Do not try to keep it to yourself, especially if it involves the two of you. Some marriages failed because of financial or emotional issues that are not told to each other. Why keep those problems exiled inside of you when you have promised to help each other for better or for worse, amidst sickness and in health.
Take time to have a conversation. Listen attentively and ensure that any issue will be solved by you together.
Do not underestimate the power of romance
Yes, that is true. Make sure you show your love to each other in any possible way. Cuddle, kiss, and hug often. You can always have that romantic moment, even in the simplest way. Own your intimate moments together. You will then realize that you’re falling more and more in love with your partner as days go by.
Make decisions together
Making decisions is an integral part of every married life. And you do not need to do it alone. When it comes to issues concerning both of you, make sure to make decisions together. Whether it’s about buying new furniture, planning to remodel the house, starting a new business, or having a child, you need to both share your thoughts. Sit down and talk about it before making the best decision.
Love, respect, and trust – these three qualities should always be present in every marriage. Learn how to trust your partner so that he/she will also do the same. When you trust each other, you can’t be easily destroyed by any problem that will test your marriage.
I believe there is still a long road ahead of us. But I am more than willing to take that path, no matter how rocky or difficult that way is. As long as I hold his hand and have faith in our relationship, I know that our marriage will get stronger, and we’ll achieve our dreams together.