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Wanting to get back together with your ex is a universal occurrence. Sometimes the devil you know is better than the devil you don’t know. Or perhaps you ended things because of something temporary, like a job that required a lot of traveling, going off to college in different towns, or simply not being ready for a big commitment.
When there aren’t permanent, valid reasons for a breakup, sometimes we’re left wondering if things could have turned out differently.
People continue sleeping with their exes even more frequently than they get back together with them. Some estimates assert that almost half of people sleep with their exes. The reasons are clear: no one likes to be alone for very long, we already know the sex is good, and it’s familiar and comforting.
If you’re ready to get back in the (virtual) sack with your ex, here are some tips.
1. Make Sure They’re Into It
Before you get started sexting, you have to know for sure that they’re still interested in hearing from you at all. They may have a new partner, which can be super awkward.
After a breakup, it’s a good idea to give someone a cooling-off period before contacting them. Don’t just say “hi,” as that puts the burden of the conversation on your ex. Mention a place you used to go to together if you passed it that day, or send an article on a hobby of your partner’s.
Whatever you do, don’t put pressure on them to have an intense conversation. Sexting with an ex should be carefree. After you’ve both gotten comfortable with the idea that you’re texting again, you can see if they’re up for sexting. Since so many people continue to sleep with their exes, you’ve got a fair chance.
Related: 15 Ways to Rewrite Your Breakup Story and Feel Better
2. Do It With a Clear Head
This is not a time to let alcohol make your decisions for you. Almost everyone has had a glass too many and thought that it’s a great idea to sext their ex, only to face extreme regret in the morning. If you want to sext your ex, make sure you’ve given it some (sober) thought first.
3. Bring Up a Memory
The easiest way to slide into a sexual conversation is to bring up a memory of one of your favorite sexual experiences together. This strategy is especially effective if sex was the best part of your relationship. Just talking about it can get you both taking a stroll down memory lane while super turned on. Tell them why you can’t stop thinking about it, and that may be all you have to do to ignite a red-hot sexting exchange.
Related: How To Start Having Sex Again After A Breakup?
4. Be More Up Front
When you’re in a relationship, you are in a near-constant state of intimacy. But now that you’ve broken up, you both have the space to focus on your sexual needs with each other. Not being involved in the daily minutiae of each other’s lives can help the sex be hotter because you’re not dealing with the boring stuff together. Your exchange can be purely sexual.
Since you have broken up, it’s an ideal time to spell out exactly what you want. After all, you have nothing to lose now, so you must prioritize your sexual needs. The time is right to be as genuine and forthcoming as possible. If you were sexually hesitant in your relationship before, now’s the time to access your inner badass.
Don’t sugarcoat the things you want to do; instead, state them plainly. You’ll even be honing a skill you can bring with you to future relationships.
Remember, you don’t have to sext an ex. You can find a willing partner online. Just make sure you use a sexting website that verifies its users’ ages and protects your privacy!