Everyone will have an undeniably different first-time sex experience. If you are a vagina owner, you may experience pain and discomfort the first time for several reasons. However, it is wrong to assume that sex is supposed to be painful the first time. The stretching of the hymen upon penetration can cause some pain and bleeding. But, not everyone has an intact hymen, and some do not have it at all.
So, if you do not bleed the first time, it is alright. Other reasons for painful sex could be lack of lubrication, uncomfortable sex positions, or emotional reasons such as anxiety around first-time sex.
There is no reason why you cannot have a comfortable sex experience, even if it is your first time. At the same time, no one can guarantee it to be completely pain-free. But, keeping in mind the below few sex tips, you can make your first time more pleasurable.
9 tips to make first-time sex less painful
1. Educate yourself about sex
Sex education worldwide is not given as much importance in educational institutions. But thankfully, today, in the Internet Age, there are several reliable sources available for this purpose. You can go through medically reviewed articles and magazines, watch informative explainer videos or even go through discussion forums. Ideally, it is advisable to consult a gynecologist before your first time for pleasurable sex while ensuring safety. If you are shy, getting information about safe sex practices via authentic sources is not wrong either.
2. Know about your anatomy
Apart from learning about sex, you must know your body well enough to ensure pleasure and comfort during sexual activity. This way, you can also guide your partner about your preferences during foreplay and sex. Have some alone time exploring your body while engaging in self-pleasure – it is one of the best ways to learn about your anatomy. Penetration using fingers can help you get used to the idea of penetration. If you have a sex toy, well and good. Then during sex with your partner, you will be less anxious about them penetrating with their fingers and penis.
3. Talk about sex with your partner
Sex involves two people, and both partners must be on the same page about sex before engaging in it. Do not hesitate to discuss your concerns and fears with your partner. It is best to address them beforehand and be prepared than have a bad first-time sex experience that may ruin both your moods.
4. Choose a safe location for sex
For first-timers, the location plays a crucial role in enjoying comfortable sex without any worries. You may be excited, feel risqué, and want to have sex in crazy places such as an open terrain or the pool or your car, but keep those ideas away if it is your first time. It may sound typical, but your bedroom would be the perfect location for having sex. Choosing a bedroom also gives you the liberty to get creative and experiment with lights, fragrances, and music to set the mood. You can also opt for couple-friendly hotels if needed.
5. Engage in enough foreplay
The most common mistake first-timers make is not engaging in enough foreplay. If the vagina is not well lubricated, sex is bound to be painful due to friction. First-time sex is exciting, but you should not rush into it. Take your time during foreplay and slowly work up your way towards penetrative sex. Besides, foreplay is equally pleasurable for both. Kissing, touching, massaging, cuddling, caressing each other are great foreplay techniques. When well-aroused, blood rushes to your nipples, labia, and clitoris, making it more sensitive. The vagina gets lubricated and expands itself. In this way, foreplay readies your body emotionally and physically and improves your chances of having painless sex.
6. Use plenty of lube
The vagina lubricates itself upon arousal, but there can be instances when it does not happen appropriately. The fluctuating estrogen levels during the menstrual cycle can make the vagina dry just before and after the start of your period. Vaginal dryness can also occur if you are anxious. Using perfumes, douching, or other hygiene products can cause vaginal dryness too. Therefore, it is best to use lots of lube, whether there is enough natural lubrication or not. With condoms, water-based lube is best-suited.
7. Try different sex positions
Some classic sex positions for first-timers include missionary, spooning, and woman on top. There are many other positions to try, so remember that there are no set rules. If both you and your partner are in for experimenting, go ahead. Some sex positions involve deep thrusting and can cause pain when the penis contacts the cervix. So, stop when it gets uncomfortable and try adjusting the angle of penetration or opt for another position.
8. Don’t rush; take it slow
Most importantly, you and your partner need to find out what is comfortable for the both of you. For the first time, there is no need to rush into anything. Take it slow and steady. Spend enough time on foreplay, and enjoy the intimate moment of both your bodies meeting during sex. In between, check in with your partner to see if they are comfortable if there is a need for a change. Being empathetic towards each other for the first time can be intimidating.
9. Set realistic expectations
Lastly, you may have spoken about sex to your partner and may have some expectations the first time. But, the best would be to explore and enjoy every moment with your partner without thinking much. Movies and erotica are great, but in reality, sex involves a lot of communication and understanding between the two partners. You and your partner will only get better in bed with practice!
Will pain continue to occur after the first time?
Ideally, sex should not be painful. If it is repeatedly painful after a few times, it could be due to an underlying cause. In this case, you should visit a doctor for proper diagnosis and required treatment.
In a nutshell, the key to making your first-time sex memorable is communication with your partner, enough foreplay, lots of lube, and good patience!