Genuine and faithful friendship strengthens trust. Without it, you can’t actually call anyone your true companion in life. However, when you’re friends with someone for years, it’s a tad difficult to judge their true character.
But sometimes, the circumstances happen to show their toxic behavior. Alarming sign.. in your life! Would you rather let this behavior of them manipulate your beautiful friendship bond? Because eventually, you have to stand up for yourself and decide for the better days of the life ahead.
Otherwise, these people will continue to hamper your mental health. Because of them, your true happiness, pride, self-esteem, and self-confidence start to deteriorate. Then there comes a time when you are unable to decide for yourself. In the worst cases, you start becoming dependent on them. You wait for their validation to lead your life.
But is that how one should live?
Sit in quiet and ask yourself that. The answer will come to you.
Then, when you realize you have to step up, the points I note below come to your rescue.
Get the courage and tell them upfront (face-to-face).
This is one of the toughest steps to follow. But it shows your so-called best buddies the mirror. When you confront them, they will blame and belittle you. But you have to take a stand. If you know how to defend yourself, go ahead and point the elephant in the room.
Call them out on their shit. Inform them what’s wrong with their behavior and that you can’t let their negative energy ruin your life. Be clear in your commitment to breaking up with them if you think things can’t work out.
Start ignoring and ghost them if need be.
It’s particularly a rude way to break up with a friend even when you blame them for upending your life’s trajectory. But are you really left with any better choice? Think about it. Have you tried any other means to end this friendship which is not at all productive anymore?
Plus, you may already know they won’t agree to be at fault when confronted. Rather, they would happily turn the tables around. Afterward, you will be the one apologizing – for things you didn’t even do.
Always win yourself back because nobody can know you better than you, yourself. – Nilakshi Garg
So, that’s one smart way to break the friendship that you longer want to keep.
Basically, when you start ghosting/ignoring them, they will worry. But that’s only when it’s not your usual behavior.
Now, out of worry or curiosity, they will reach out to you. They would be asking you questions from where you can finally start addressing the elephant in the room.
Otherwise, if they don’t, you have your answer. With time, they will drift apart. Either way, you get rid of a highly negative person in your life.
Drop them a long message or email if you can’t face them.
If you are reading this far, it means you are an introvert and submissive friend like me. We people hardly take the initiative in a friendship, like making plans or convincing others to take charge for it.
Our friends simply tell us their final plans because we make them our priority. But now is the time to stop doing that if they are messing with your mental balance and peace.
And when you have no courage to face them, prepare a long message or email. Confess all your pains in the message. Tell them clearly if you want to give them a second chance or not. If you don’t want to talk to them anymore, let it be known.
Don’t hide the details of your hurtful feelings on this written note. Because this could be your last message to them, so you shouldn’t regret anything. Once drafted and edited, send the message over and be done with it.
Unfriend and block them from your social media profiles.
That’s an extreme measure but also the easiest one nowadays. It can also have controversial consequences as everyone is on social media – the local but ultimate digital neighborhood.
So, people in your social circle would know who you’re following or being followed by. It’s a space full of genuine and crazy followers. And, once you block or unfriend your best buddy, it might become a well-known controversy amongst your loyal followers. Be ready to face the heat or become the talk of the town if you are a public figure (blogger/influencer/celeb).
However, it’s a must-do when your toxic best friend is not letting you breathe even a little. You need your private space even when it’s online.
I, personally, hate those people who constantly nag about everything I post online. Though, from the get-go, I have set my boundaries with such people. Whenever I feel someone is getting too personal, I let them know immediately.
Stop talking to them or being the first one to message/call.
If you feel exploited, give it a full stop. This has to end. Simple. There should be no ifs and buts about it. When you’re the one who’s always calling and taking the initiative with your toxic friend, end it immediately.
If you are always making plans, asking them out, messaging them first, end it all. When you do so, you are giving your mental peace and stability priority. You are learning to take back the value of your time and efforts. If a toxic friend really has a conscience, they will get back to you soon with all their worries. If they don’t, good riddance, I say.
I pointed out 5 ways to let go of the toxic friendship in this blog post from my personal experiences and observations. I wish my readers to apply any (or all) steps as they seem fit to end their malign friendship before losing their individuality beyond immediate repair.