As a part of the Morning Lazziness series about empowering women who are encouraging and doing incredible things with their ideas in society, I had the pleasure of interviewing Sarah Nazim.
“We need to reshape our own perception of how we view ourselves. We have to step up as women and take the lead.” -Beyoncé
Sarah Nazim is a Stress & Resilience Coach, her new online course is transformational and designed to help you regain the confidence you need to find the love you deserve.
Such a pleasure having you; please let our users know about yourself and your life coach journey?
Thanks for having me; it’s a pleasure to chat with you today! My name is Sarah Nazim; I’m a Certified Stress & Resilience Coach, specializing in helping perpetually single women overcome rejection fast while learning to build a fulfilling life.
There are so many resources out there for couples, divorcees, and widows, but there are very few resources for those who yearn for emotional connection but are struggling to find it. Most dating advice is shallow, and it doesn’t get to the root causes of perpetual singlehood. I am passionate about this because I’ve lived through it, and I hope to help others make sense of their journey and empower them to live a fulfilling life.
In case you’re wondering what ‘perpetually single’ means, it refers to women who are rarely asked out or given an adequate chance; in other words, they are easily dismissed. They may go on several dates and have nothing materialized, or they may date someone for a few short weeks or months only to find themselves single again. These are women who want marriage but haven’t had much luck finding a compatible partner.
My journey to coaching was a long one. As an artistically inclined person, I had no idea what I wanted to do after high school, and like most students, I chose a “safe” degree and went on to study business and marketing; I quickly found myself going down a career path that wasn’t aligned with my strengths or interests. For the longest time, I ignored the voice inside of me that said, “you are meant to do more than this,” because I just thought that I had no choice but to keep at it. Oddly enough, what ended up pushing me to start my career over was the lack of emotional fulfillment in my interpersonal relationships. I couldn’t tolerate having a non-existent love life coupled with a job that made me miserable — something had to give!
Having faced years of rejection and setbacks in my romantic relationships, I was struggling to find meaning and fulfillment, which ultimately led me down a path of solitude. I had no choice but to be okay with my own company. It forced me to ask the bigger questions of life, and it helped me build inner strength. I learned to be okay on my own and do not be afraid to go after what truly makes me happy instead of playing it safe. Instead of merely coasting through life, I had clarity and purpose for once. My self-discovery journey taught me how to get in touch with myself and to be more curious; in other words, I overcame my setbacks through abstract and critical thinking. I was able to put everything into perspective, and that’s when I decided that I wanted a career that would allow me to not only express my creativity through art but to also use what I learned to help others, and that’s when I was introduced to the world of coaching, and I decided to make a career out of it.
Life is full of twists and turns, and my journey has taught me the importance of resilience, which is why I am determined to help others cultivate it within themselves.
What challenges did you face at the start of your journey as an inspiring career?
The biggest challenge I faced had the courage to step away from my career in marketing to venture into a new field, which meant investing time and money into furthering my education. Starting a career over in my 30s certainly didn’t delight my parents, and there was a bit of pushback there, but they eventually came around when they saw how driven and dedicated I was to my vision.
How did you come up with this thoughtful idea of overcoming obstacles and spreading happiness?
The idea to help perpetually single women was inspired by my setbacks in love. Growing up, I watched other women being pursued by men, and I often felt left out. There was a point in time when I couldn’t even watch a romantic movie or see a couple holding hands without it bringing up deep sadness. Nobody talks about the grief of perpetual singlehood, and many suffer in silence. I want to break the stigma that surrounds this topic because many face the same challenges but are too ashamed to admit to it.
It’s important for us all to remember that we’re all on different paths, which means that our timing will not always match up to those around us, and that’s okay! Being single does not mean that there’s something wrong with us or that we’re not worthy of love; it just means that we haven’t met anyone that can meet us on our level yet. I want to empower women to be the CEOs of their love lives by being proactive instead of reactive to their circumstances.
What are your techniques to beat stress and to bring positivity and change into women’s life?
The key to reducing stress boils down to our mindset. The right perspective can enable us to be proactive instead of reactive to our circumstances.
Our Limbic Brain, aka “The Impulsive Brain,” is what triggers our “fight or flight” response which can cause us to act irrationally or to harbor negative emotions. Whereas our Prefrontal Cortex, aka “The Smart Brain,” is what enables us to utilize abstract, creative, and strategic thinking skills. The key is to build a connection between these two regions through our composure and reasoning skills.
Our emotional reactions form from our beliefs and expectations, and we can influence the emotions we feel by challenging our beliefs. We also create assumptions that can lead to negative reactions. Our views and belief system around a situation can impact our health by increasing our stress hormones. This is why we have to gain composure and deploy our reasoning skills to minimize our stress level.
How to minimize the effects of stress hormones:
- Label the emotion: Identify what you are feeling, which will allow you to distance yourself from it and respond appropriately.
- Breathe: Slow and deep breaths help slow the heart rate down.
- Take a quick walk: A change of scenery and fresh air can help give you a fresh perspective and calm you down.
- Sleep on it: Let the emotions pass and reconsider the situation the following day.
The key is to be guided by our “Smart Brain,” aka critical thinking, vs. our “fight or flight” response which is reactionary. Another helpful technique that I use with my clients is the Emotional Freedom Technique which is performed by tapping on the nine meridian points on the body that helps to relax us.
Since I’ve lived through years of singlehood, I provide my clients with information that is designed to broaden their perspective, this way, they can learn from my mistakes and observations instead of learning the hard way. My program provides them with the mindset shift they need to overcome the stress of dating burnout.
What do you do every day to keep yourself positive?
It boils down to gratitude and being thankful for what I have instead of worrying about what I don’t. Anytime I find myself slipping back into old negative thinking patterns, I acknowledge the emotion and let it pass, but I ALWAYS come back to a state of gratitude by reminding myself of where I have been and how far I have come. I always choose to propel forward, not backward. Sometimes all we need is to give ourselves a little pep talk!
How do your family and friends motivate/inspire you during the tough times of life?
My family has been my strongest support system, and I am very grateful. It’s important to have people in our lives that we can depend on in times of need. A bit of reassurance and a good hug can often ease so much tension.
How do you personally overcome fear?
Fear is one of those things you have to tackle head-on. Think about the first time you rode a bike or had to get up to do a presentation. Your mind is racing, your palms are sweaty, and you feel the pit of your stomach, but in the end, you survive! The worst that can happen in any given situation is that we make a mistake or we get rejected, but it’s not the end of the world. It may feel that way at first, but it’s only a temporary setback. I push myself to do things and learn along the way. To be resilient in this life, you have to be willing to put yourself out there and pick yourself back up when you fall.
What does the world need more of right now?
I think we need to put more emphasis on self-development and relationship building. At least in North America, from what I can tell, we live in a culture that places a lot of emphasis on education and career-building and very little time instilling morals and character development., which I believe is the root cause of a lot of our social ills. If we want to be happier and healthier, we need to encourage a self-aware and emotionally intelligent society.
According to you, what five skill-sets should a woman have to give them strength?
Strength is built through resiliency, and to be resilient; you need to have willpower. Willpower is garnered through realistic optimism, which means that you acknowledge that the road will be tough and there will be challenges, but you remain hopeful and confident in your ability to succeed. By accepting that life is dynamic and ever-changing, you are conditioning yourself to adapt rather than resist change, and that is how you build strength!
Please share some advice for those who are struggling every day to stay happy and relaxed?
It boils down to our perspective and mindset. It’s normal to have a bad day here or there, but if you are finding yourself constantly stuck in negative thinking patterns and unmotivated to do anything, it would be a good idea to seek the help of a life coach that can get you back on track. Sometimes we have limiting beliefs about ourselves that hold us back, which is why it’s a good idea to talk it out with someone that can assess your situation. Happiness is an inside job, which is why the more self-aware you are, the easier it will become to identify what’s hindering you so that you can take corrective action.
How do you believe in bringing positivity to the life of people?
I believe in bringing positivity to people by empowering them to be the best versions of themselves. The more we understand ourselves and embrace our truth, the more we start to make decisions that are aligned with what makes us truly happy.
What is your favorite mantra or affirmation that you say to yourself to keep you going?
One of my favorite quotes is, “The older I get, the more I understand that it’s okay to live a life that others don’t understand.” I have learned to own my journey regardless of what others think of me, and there’s nothing more freeing than that!
Lastly, what does success mean to you?
Success to me means being happy. However, that looks for you. I have never valued job titles; rather, I view my success in terms of the impact I make in life.
Thank you for these fantastic insights. We greatly appreciate the time you spent on this.