Breakups are never easy, but unfortunately, they happen to everyone. It may take time to feel yourself again and even harder, wanting to date someone new.
There is no magic time of how long it will take to be over a breakup, though some have estimated that a month for every year you were together is a good guess. But when this day does come, and you feel ready to date again, you will be glad you have taken the time to work on yourself.
Use these signs and dating tips to figure out what you truly want going forward.
1. You have learned something from your past relationships.
Ending a relationship is tough. It is the loss of someone close to you, grieving in a sense. Though, coming out of a relationship is a great learning opportunity. You have a chance to enter a new partnership with the knowledge of what you would like to do differently. A breakup is never one-sided. Both people have a part to play. Perhaps it will open your eyes to what type of person is good for you. Maybe it will make you more aware of your life stage and what kind of relationship you are seeking. Use what you have learned in the past as a stepping stone for your future relationships. It is a way to be positive in an otherwise harsh situation.
2. You have closure
A big sign that you are ready to meet and date someone new is that you have come to terms that your past relationship is over. Staying hopeful that you could rekindle with an ex will greatly hinder how you go forward. It may take time to feel comfortable and move on but, it’s okay. Breakups can feel like an open wound – give them time to heal.
Related: 15 Ways to Rewrite Your Breakup Story and Feel Better
3. You have identified your relationship patterns.
Often when you date, it is common to choose the same type of partner, again and again. It can be down to what you believe you want, what you may be attracted to, or possibly a form of comfort. If you have been unsuccessful in finding the right person, it is vital to identify your dating and relationship patterns. Changing your approach to seeking a soulmate may be the key to a happy ending. What you want in a partner may not be what you need. Avoid the incompatible traits to find someone that will support, encourage and love you.
4. You are secure with yourself.
One of the most vital steps you must take before delving into a new relationship is to be happy in your skin. Investing time in yourself allows you to learn what your passions are. A relationship should not complete you, only add joy. Similarly, when building a house: you cannot add furniture before the foundation. You must learn to love yourself before you are emotionally available for someone else, including accepting your flaws. Taking a step back to look at yourself allows you to identify any self-destructive behaviors and work on them before you begin to date again.
5. You can visualize a future with someone new.
Can you imagine a future without your ex? If you have begun dating again, be that physically or using the best dating sites and find yourself imagining a life with someone new, you are well on your way to starting a new relationship. A breakup can feel as though the life you once imagined has disappeared into thin air, but the prospect of fantasizing about a new future is a huge stepping stone towards your happy ending.
6. You are excited to start dating again.
A big sign that you are ready to date again is the excitement of meeting someone new. It can seem daunting to start from day one. Trial-and-erroring your way through all the small talk and butterflies. But, if you are keen and comfortable doing so, that is half the battle! On the other hand, dating has some great perks! It can be fantastic when you meet someone like-minded. Not to mention that you can venture to cute places you usually wouldn’t go, such as coffee shops, restaurants, or even fun activities.
Related: 10 Things You Need To Know Before Starting A New Relationship
7. You are able to compromise.
If you are ready for a new relationship, you should know the importance of compromising. A relationship is a balance of giving and taking. You have to meet your partner in the middle. Be open and honest with them through the minor issues and the larger problems. Learning to respond to your partner’s needs and your own is the key to a successful and healthy relationship.
8. You are ready to make long-term choices.
Are you seeking short-term rewards or, are you ready for the long haul? A breakup is sad, and according to an issue of Psychological Science by Jennifer Lerner, Ye Li, and Elke Weber, acting on something when you are upset rather than when you are happy can have negative results. When you are ready for a serious relationship, you rarely make snap judgments based on an immediate feeling of pleasure. Instead, you take time to weigh up your options and consider what will benefit you in the future.
Breakups are always difficult but, in time, you will feel ready to meet someone new and start fresh. When seeking romance, all hope of a meet-cute is not lost. Although now there are many fantastic dating sites and apps to get you back on your way.
After a relationship, it can be nerve-wracking that you may not find someone suited to you. Now though, that idea is in the back-seat as online dating caters to every niche and interest. Examples include Christian dating sites, Asian dating sites, Vegan only platforms, and many more.
Take the time you need to get over your breakup, focus on yourself, and when you are ready, that perfect person will be just around the corner.