There are friends who are meant to be with you forever. But there are also seasonal friends who will be with you in a short period of time for a purpose.
The worst scenario is when they ghosted you and left you hanging for no reason. I know it’s tough, yet you have to learn how to move forward when best friends dare to unfriend you. Sometimes as you grow older, you have to get used to it.
The older you become, the more you lose friends. You are starting a life in reality, and when life gets serious, only real friends stay.
1. Assess the situation
Did you just have a misunderstanding, or are you on the verge of parting ways permanently? Can it be fixed, or do you think the situation is a bit vague and unforgivable? Your first move should depend on what kind of situation you are in. And if you still have hopes and don’t want to give up your friendship, then you should apologize and reach them out. But if they just unfriend you for no valid reason, learn to walk away.
2. Never blame yourself
Know that things happen for a reason. There are really seasonal friends who will be with you for a moment. And once their role in your life is done, they will be gone as well. It’s okay to question the things you’ve done for them, but don’t be too hard on yourself.
If all the good things you’ve done are not enough for them, then you can’t do anything to make them stay. You will never be enough for people who don’t have contentment in life. So, stop putting all the blame on your shoulder. They already stab you with a knife; why would you also dare hurt yourself? Just let go and let God.
3. Try not to hold a grudge
It’s alright to be upset, but if you live a life full of bitterness, you will only ruin the rest of your life. You can curse and be mad at them for a moment but don’t waste your time and life just because they hurt you. At the end of the day, it’s your life who’ll be miserable because they don’t care about you at all. It’s just you who gives value and effort to a broken friendship. So stop and live life with joy.
4. Don’t talk about them
No matter how upset you are, always keep your mouth shut. In other words, if you want to avoid the spread of wrong information about your friendship split up, learn to keep quiet. Not all the people around you are trustworthy, and not all will be able to understand your current situation.
Some might use your struggle to ruin your name or might disseminate rumors that can be bad for your image. If you want to burst out the anger inside you, write it down or at least open up to a family member and a person that can only be trusted.
5. Surround yourself with the right people
I know it’s hard to welcome new people in your life after having a friendship heartbreak. But you also have to look at the bright side and be grateful to people who stayed with you up until now. So instead of focusing on the people who left you, why not look around and see those people who truly care. They may not be a lot, but at least they are real.
6. Limit the use of your social media account
Using social media in times like this is not good for you. Sometimes, Facebook memories will only remind you of old friends you had and the things you did together. If you think there’s no second chance on your friendship, then at least refrain from scanning your old pictures or videos online. You can also get rid of things that will remind you of them because there’s no point in keeping memories of someone who is no longer part of your life. Refrain from hurting yourself through the memories of your past. You might not be able to forget the pain; at least you learn how to live with it.
7. Give yourself time to heal
Don’t act as if everything is okay; if you want to cry, do it. It’s hard bottling your feelings up because you’ve lost someone you treasure, and it’s alright to grieve. Romantic breakups are not the only one that has a right to feel that way. A breakup from a best friend is also as hard to go through, if not harder. Cry, pamper yourself, or do things that you think will calm your heart. Just take time, and you will be fine.
Losing someone is a redirection to the right people. Sometimes, you don’t have to insist on yourself to people who can’t see your value. Real ones stand out during your downfall.
Anyway, what you’re going through is a lesson you can take in the future. Just enjoy life without bitterness in your heart, and you’ll heal at the right time.