who should wear the pants in a marriage

Chapter 6: Leather or lace? Who Should Wear The Pants In Marriage

Marriage

In the travels of finding our partner, we learn what complements us best. Opposites attract to bring out what the other may lack. When it comes to the circumstances in the home and marriage, are leather gloves stronger than delicate lace? Having one spouse in charge does not always complement the other. Husbands can sometimes be demanding and find it hard to step away from the reins due to culture and masculine values. Some wives may tend to fall back into more subservient roles, while others lead by a leash of contention. In different generations, roles in a marriage can be something to fuss over or zip your lip about, but at the end of the day, does it really matter who wears the pants?  

Back in the days when men were the sole breadwinners, they got to call the shots. Walking in the door from work, wanting their shoes are taken off and dinner on the table. In today’s age, most households have two working partners, but some men still need to be the king of their castle

  • Old school ethics is still on the menu. Husbands still call on their wives to do the dishes and clean the house. The position of a wife cannot just mean supporting their husband’s needs all the time. The age of just raising children and doing housework has evolved and, in some cases, switched roles. What was once an ace in the pocket years ago is now a joker’s card. 
  • Where is your finesse? Control is not necessary in today’s world; in fact, it causes more harm than good. A revolt is on the horizon for men who need to be domineering. The narrow-minded grip on wives to be told and not asked is a grievance that is no longer condoned. Be a leader, not a dictator, and use your charm to get what you want.   
  • They can still kill spiders. Strong men always know when to cater to a queen without feelings of defeat. They can take blame during an argument and still rescue us from the things we are not brave enough to face alone. Together we are like the material in the so-called pair of pants (so to speak); one intertwining thread keeps the soft fabric from ripping apart.  
who should wear the pants in a marriage

Things that women had long sought after their husbands to do are made more manageable now. We hang our own pictures, landscape our lawns, and hire professionals to do the rest. As multitaskers, we can rule the world, but it is hard to get it done all by yourself. In a perfect picture of marital wits, is two heads better than one?

  • There is no room for mistakes. Some wives love to micromanage their husbands. So, he used the wrong towels or discarded the shopping list; our entitlement to perfection cannot always be perfect. In a world of mismatches and unparalleled ideas, we will run into problems, but from stiff trousers to ruffled skirts, we can be proud of our collaboration in the end.
  • Are we drama queens? Sometimes we tend to make things harder than they ought to be. We love to rethink instructions and do things our way because we know best in creating friction. Sometimes we look for things to be upset about and hold on to anger. Remember that extra expense for the car he never talked with you about. What sounds logical probably is that a blow-up is really our way of bringing attention to something that is not there. 
  • The stamina of a goddess. Wives do not always want to hold the duster or be in command; we just want a nourishing relationship to grow with confidence and consistency. Wives can be the backbone, at the frontline, and have the last word. When in solidarity, however, we look gorgeous while doing it! 

Equal opportunity life style and shared responsibilities were the dreams when women got the right to vote. It was easier in theory than on paper, and as the years went by, it became a reality. A role of a housewife can easily be shared with a monkey wrench husband and vice versa. There is no right or wrong just as long as things get done. 

  • Bringing home the bacon and cooking it. We all work hard for a living, and status among the household is just a word. Contributing, whether at work or at home, gives each partner credibility and stature. An even playing field to complain, commend, and complete one another.
  • Working gloves and garden frills. If you have ever taken up a task together, you will notice it takes an equal effort to get the job done. Thus, it is the same for a superior in a marriage. There is no need for one; it takes two to make a relationship work properly. All wheel’s function with ease, and when one starts to squeak, it gets a little grease.
  • A fifty-fifty shot. Once insecurity passes and trust is regained, you will be able to call on one another for advice when the important things need to be handled. In this light, no one’s feelings are overlooked and no one’s concerns are not considered. Do not go it alone if you do not have to. 

Coming around the bend with the perspective of leaning on each other will improve a marriage and help it survive. A boss you must answer to should always be at your place of work, not home sweet home. Manage your bills and your lawn but do not manage each other. Take time to hear what needs to be done before addressing it and deal with it together accordingly. There will be bumps in the road, and everyone should have a turn driving, one handles sleet and rain better than the other. It is not where you are going; it is how you get there. Who holds the map and who takes the wheel will be for you two to decide.     

Angela Parish