Trust is the foundation of a healthy relationship. And once you break that essential component of a strong relationship, you’ll have to work hard to rebuild it.
Bear in mind that it takes time and effort to restore what has been broken. And whatever the nature of offense you’ve done, you have to reflect on your actions. Hence, if you are sincerely sorry and don’t want to lose the person you love, stand and own up to your mistake.
To start, it is helpful to have a guide of things that can help you restore trust in a relationship. Below is the list that you can go into;
Don’t be too aggressive and quick to decide when to talk with your partner. Better know when is the right time to discuss things, so they can give you their full attention. This might be uncomfortable, but you have to open up and talk about the current situation. Also, be transparent about why you felt the need to lie and give a clear answer to every question they’re going to throw.
Related: How to Solve Communication Gap In A Relationship
2. Admit your mistake.
Now is the time to show your partner that you’re responsible for your actions, and you don’t take things lightly. It is also important that you recognize the damage you caused. And a good way to start making amends is to sincerely apologize.
3. Accept your partner’s response.
Make sure that when you confess, you’re ready to take the anger and all the negative things that your partner might say. Also, think about the pain that they’re going through after hearing the gut-wrenching truth from someone they love. Actively listen to your partner and never invalidate their feelings or reactions because they have the right to feel that way.
4. Give your partner time.
No matter how ready you are, if your partner is not yet ready to work things out, it will get worse. People process things in different ways, so it is important to avoid pressuring them to discuss the issue. Just give them the space and time they need; they’ll surely appreciate you for doing that. It might also be one of the ways to restore the trust you’ve broken.
5. Never expect.
Rebuilding trust does not guarantee instant fulfillment. I know it’s hard trying to work things out without any assurance, but please know that you are the offender. And as a person who compromises the relationship, you have to endure it. Remind yourself that it’s still up to your partner if they’ll accept your apologies and forgive you.
6. Commit to change.
When trust is broken, one of the most essential things to do is to commit. Assure your partner that you are eager to change and are working on being the best version of yourself. It might take time to convince them, but the more days, weeks, or months that go by, the more they’ll see how dedicated you are.
7. Back up your words with actions.
Sometimes words are no longer enough to prove how committed you are, especially if the trust is already broken. You need to be consistent and genuine in things you utter, and at the same time, align them with your gestures. Surprise them with cooking their favorite dish, plan a romantic date night, pamper them with chocolates, or send flowers to their workplace. Trust me; this is the best way to apologize for your mistake. As the saying goes, ‘actions speak louder than your words.’
8. Be patient.
Remind yourself that it is not easy to restore the trust you’ve broken. It takes time, effort, and perseverance to gain back what has been damaged. And if you are not willing to wait long, then you are not that committed to paying off what has been broken.
9. Forgive yourself.
Remember that you are a spirit being, and you’re bound to make mistakes. Though it won’t define your behavior, understand that the mistakes shouldn’t be repeated again. I sometimes know you blame yourself for the pain you’ve caused towards your partner. And as much as you want to be forgiven, you must learn to forgive yourself first. Only then you’ll realize that circumstances can develop your character and make you a better version of yourself.
Look at this as an opportunity to also grow and make your relationship stronger. It may not be an easy task, but everything is worth it with commitment and patience. As long as there is love between the two of you, you’ll work things out. You just have to take a step and follow the process.