How To Stop Making Excuses About Your Parents

How To Stop Making Excuses About Your Parents

Latest Parenting

You were born into this world and brought up to believe what you were told under the guise of your parents or, for some people, their grandparents or alternative caregivers. So why is it now you still find yourself questioning every little move you make even though you are an adult that doesn’t live under the same roof anymore?

Unfortunately, you find yourself ruminating around in your own thoughts far too much and overthinking what you should or should do, and knocking down opportunities left, right and center because you were told in some way that you weren’t good or worthy enough from a very young age.

1. Children Start Forming Limited Beliefs At The Age Of Four to Five Years Old 

Limiting beliefs are created in childhood, taken on as a story, become a belief and thus become our identity. 

To think as a parent myself, we are coding and creating our children’s narratives and stories about what they are capable of very early in life. It is indeed a thought that we could all take from this that we as parents have our own baggage, and if we don’t work on it will be passed to our children. We are leaving the burden of that for them to deal with, and the worst part is – it’s not their story.

2. No Child Asks To Learn False Stories 

If you have ever allowed yourself to indulge in your many internal stories, have you ever thought – I should fix that behaviour before it becomes more of a problem? Normally we go through life just hoping and waiting for the most wondrous things to happen, and yet you’re still waiting for your Maserati to roll into your driveway, right?

It’s the lies that you tell yourself – are not good enough, you’re not worthy, you’re a failure, you’re overweight, you’re a disappointment even though you’re out there manifesting your “dreams” so hard. You’ve neglected to look at what is stopping you from getting what you really want – it’s you and only you. You can’t make excuses for anyone once you recognise it. Sadly, we have become accustomed to living in pain and thinking it’s normal.

Your children hear everything you say; they mimic and watch your actions. They pick up on everything, and so did you, didn’t you?

3. Generational Trauma

A current topic of conversation amongst many consciously aware Instagram parents is that hurt is inherited from your parents; it wasn’t something you could stop; it just became a prevalent moment. In a sea of awareness, we have so many options to go and find answers as to why we do what we do, why we behave in particular ways, and how we can correct our issues?

It’s so normalised now to have therapy, coaching, and to talk about it – the stigma isn’t there like it used to be.

Your parents were a product of your grandparents and so on .. Opinions, mindsets, and limited thinking have been filtered down the generations like a tap dripping in the middle of the night that annoys the living daylights out of you. Fortunately, you can choose to turn off the tap and turn off the generational trauma as it starts with you; you become the person who breaks the link and no longer stands for it.

4. Nobody Said It Was Easy 

If the buck stops with you, how do you fight to end all the limited thinking and hand me downs of the past? You start to work on yourself and drop making excuses. The excuse of “they won’t like it,” “they won’t understand,” “they just don’t get it.” You have to pull yourself aside, give yourself the encouraging speech to do better things every day, and start talking to someone who can coach you into a growth mindset, one that you can develop and nurture yourself with. You want to smother yourself in Neuroplasticity like it’s going out of style because simply you can change and reprogram the way you think right now.

5. Stop Blaming Your Parents For Your Mistakes 

Your parents did what they thought best for you at the time; let’s celebrate them for this. But there is a time where you have to realise that until you take radical responsibility for your own excuses that you have conjured up for years that you will always stay in the limited thinking of what was passed on to you, and let’s be honest in that frame of mind no-one will be manifesting their dream Maserati anytime soon unless you face your problems head-on and heal the issues of the past with an excuses radical decision to change. 

Nicole Rosenfield
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