You have just started dating and are having a great time getting to know the new person in your life. The honeymoon phase is unparalleled – planning fun weekend dates, watching movies together, exploring places together. While your new relationship is going strong, your older friendships may be getting affected.
Suddenly, you have little to no time for your friends, and they may not be too happy about it. Some friends may express this to you directly, or some may not. Whatever it is, to avoid losing your friends or prevent them from becoming toxic, you need to prioritize them too!
So, go through the following tips and save your friendships while enjoying your new relationship!
1. Make conscious efforts to talk to your friends.
If your friends are always reaching out to you first – whether it is texting, calling, or inviting you for outings, it can be frustrating for them after a point. They can soon start feeling that you do not care about the friendship, even if you have not intentionally done anything to hurt them. But, think about it.
Is it fair to call and text your boyfriend all day but not make the same effort for your friends? Just like you are investing time in your new relationship for it to work, you need to do the same for maintaining your friendships as well. So, make it a point to initiate conversations with your friends, ask about their life and organize plans with them!
2. Maintain rituals with your friends.
You may not be able to meet your friends as often as before. But, it is not okay if you do not meet them at all. Maintain certain rituals with your friends – you can discuss with your friends and fix whatever works best. It could be weekend video call catch-ups, Sunday brunches, or simply cooking lunch together once every month. Even if you text them once every 2-3 days, it will assure your friends that you care. Use the technology to your advantage and stay in touch with your besties!
3. Do not bring along your boyfriend everywhere.
Sure, your girlfriends would want to meet the guy their bestie is dating and get to know him. However, not every single time! If you bring along your boyfriend to every outing with your friends, whether it is movie night, dinner party, or birthday celebrations, remember that your friends will not be appreciative of that after a point. It is not out of jealousy or hatred. They want to spend some time with you rather than watch you spend time with your boyfriend. So, when you are with your friends, be fully present. It takes us to the next point.
4. Avoid talking to your boyfriend when you are with your friends.
Being fully present with your friends also means ditching your phone while you are with them. Constantly texting or attending calls from your boyfriend while in conversation with your friends is not preferable unless necessary. Not talking to him for a couple of hours will not make any difference.
5. Mellow down PDA in front of your friends.
No one enjoys seeing their friend making out right in front of them. It shows your uncaring and inconsiderate attitude towards your friends because they can get uncomfortable. You can have your private time with your boyfriend at any other time you want – so, why do it when you are with your friends?
6. Make sure you are not talking about your boyfriend all the time.
You may be excited to share your new love life with your friends, and it is natural to do that. Even they would probably be bugging you to give them more gossip. But if that is the only topic you talk about with your friends, it can get to them. The right way to balance the conversations is to ask them about their life, too.
7. Never cancel plans with your friends to meet your boyfriend.
Canceling plans at the last minute to meet your boyfriend is not cool unless your reason is genuine. It puts you in a bad light and shows that you do not value your friend’s time. As far as possible, avoid such a situation from arising.
8. Hear your friends out.
Do not defend yourself if your friends express their unhappiness regarding you. Think about it and try to analyze the intentions behind their thoughts. If you find them genuine and feel you have hurt them unknowingly, own up to your mistake, sincerely apologize and win their trust back. But if you understand they are unnecessarily picking on you – do not entertain their false accusations.
9. Think from your single friend’s perspective.
Be mindful of your actions and how they may be affecting your friends. If your friend has never dated or has recently gone through a breakup, there are chances that she may show too much interest in your relationship. It is not her fault, and you must empathize with her. Secondly, give her the time she needs with you instead of only focusing on your relationship with your boyfriend.
10. Communicate about it with your boyfriend.
One of the last tips is to talk to your boyfriend about it. Express to him that you like spending time with him, but at the same time, you do not want to compromise on the time with your friends because they are equally important to you. Communicate your needs with him to arrive at a mutual understanding. And then set time aside for both – your partner and your friends.
Balancing your relationship and friends may seem hard at first, but all it takes to keep everyone happy is communication.
Remember, your friends will be understanding when you assure them that you care about them. You keep ignoring them, whether intentionally or unintentionally, and soon your friendships may fade away. After all, it takes effort from both sides to maintain a healthy relationship.