7 Critical things you Need to Overcome Jealousy in A Relationship

7 Critical things You Need to Overcome Jealousy in A Relationship

Sex & Relationships

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Ahh… Falling in love… It unleashes all the feel-good hormones in your body; you’re on fire, sparks flying everywhere! You want to spend every waking minute with the person who makes you happy. 

The initial stages of a romantic relationship are pure bliss, and the lovebirds live in a utopia.

It does not take long before you realize that your partner has their individual lives. There is work, school, family, friends, and even personal interests and hobbies that you may not share, so it is natural to spend some time apart.

Humans are social beings. You cannot stop people from interacting with your partner. Your sweetheart will naturally talk, smile, or even hug other people, depending on the social setting.

The ugly side of this reality is that envy tends to creep up when you see your partner interacting with others, especially if they are more physically attractive than you are (in your opinion!), or if they seem to be getting more attention from your partner than you are.

What does jealousy in an intimate relationship look like?

“Am I not good enough for him anymore?” “Is she more attracted to him because of his awesome hair and abs?”

These are some of the questions that creep into your head, and you may ask yourself. They are an indication that you are green with envy. You’re a bit “jelly,” and that’s perfectly normal, don’t worry about that.

You may even start feeling your anger level rising when your girlfriend or boyfriend is friendly with other people. If this happens, do not be too hard on yourself – these feelings are natural.

Be cautious because you risk the painful end of your relationship if you let these feelings go unchecked and overwhelm you. While feeling jealous is natural, you have to learn to control your feelings preferably before you do something irrational that may forever ruin your relationship.

Liberate your body and soul from these ugly feelings by adopting these tips and strategies to help you deal with jealousy and envy-related anger.

Also Read: 5 Things You Should never do Once You Get into a Relationship

1. Acknowledge your feelings!

Be real with yourself and recognize what you feel instead of ignoring your feelings and emotions. Facing your feelings, especially negative ones, will allow you to see that your jealousy is not justifiable.

Yea, it might not be pleasant when they pop-up, but you can’t stop your partner from meeting other people and having their own life… just as much as you do.

AND of course, you trust your partner, and he trusts you… Letting your simmering jealousy turn into boiling anger is dangerous!  You have to let yourself feel what you feel but also understand where it’s coming from and why it’s not rooted in any real issue.

It will also assist you in steering your relationship in the direction you deem most fit. You will definitely learn how not to act irrationally whenever you feel envious.

2. Trust your partner and manage your expectations

If your partner has not given you any reason to doubt their trust, tame your feelings of anger and envy. Let them be social and enjoy time with other people during parties or any other function.

Understand that it is very normal for you or your partner to notice other people who are attractive. You are in the relationship because you both love and cherish each other, so other people should not shake the trust you have for each other.

When dealing with your darling, be realistic with what you expect of them. Allow them to be human, and create room to speak about your feelings without the urge to control how your significant other feels.

Also Read: What Does PDA Mean? Is Excess Of PDA Good/Bad For A Relationship?

Let your partner know what you expect of them to avoid unnecessary conflict.

3. Work on your self-esteem

In most instances, your jealousy stems from your own insecurities. That goes for pretty much every human on the face of the planet. It’s just how that works.

Take a close look at yourself and list the things that you’re insecure about. Why are you so unsure of yourself? Is it because of the size of your nose, bust, hips, or any other physical attribute? Does it feel like it stems from your mental and emotional states?

Knowing your insecurities is not equivalent to putting yourself down. It’s the complete opposite; it is a way of helping you to own your role in your life and in the relationship you have with your significant other.

Do not allow your insecurities to push you to act irrationally. Do not let them push your partner away.

Always remember that everyone has their own insecurities, your partner included.  You choose whether to use them against you or not.

Also Read: Don’t Let Insecurity Kill Your Relationship

Write down your insecurities and come up with an antidote for each. List all the attributes that make you loveable. Stop comparing yourself with everyone else.

This is your journey, so own it. Be proud of who you are. Knowing your best traits will boost your self-esteem and confidence and reduce your feelings of jealousy. A person with high self-esteem is always more attractive – Do not forget this!

4. Talk about your feelings with your partner

Honesty is one of the most important qualities in any relationship. If you are jealous, why not address your feelings with your significant other?

Express how certain situations or acts make you feel. You will be surprised to know that your partner was not aware that doing certain things hurts your feelings or triggers jealousy.

Honest communication will assist both of you to establish healthy boundaries when interacting with other people. It will also allow you to calm down and not let irrational thoughts consume you whenever you are out in public.

If you feel like talking with your partner has not solved your problem with envy, you can also consider talking to a professional or at least a friend you trust.

5. Never act out

Being jealous usually stirs unreasonable thoughts and a desire to act in ugly and embarrassing ways. Usually, irrational acts end up destroying the relationship forever.

Do not try to punish your partner for interacting with other people. Never give in to the urge to lash out in public or fight the person your significant other is socializing with.

Maintain your dignity at all times. If you feel the strong urge to do something ridiculous, breathe in and out, take a short walk, or go out for some fresh air.

Acting out will cause unnecessary drama (nobody likes that) and form a ground for your partner to distrust you. Manage your feelings and always act with class and dignity.

6. Practice self-care and appreciation

You cannot love another human being in a healthy way if you do not love yourself enough. How you treat your physical and inner self will reflect in the way you interact and treat others.

Recognize that you are a person with both positive attributes and flaws. Take care of your body and reinforce your positive attributes. You also need to recognize your weaknesses and come up with appropriate self-development and growth techniques.

Each day, appreciate yourself and be grateful for all your positive physical and character-related attributes. Over time, you will become a positive and happier person who can relate better with your partner and other people.

When you know who you are and what you bring to the table, you will hardly be triggered by small things like your partner smiling at a prettier or more handsome friend. 

7. Adopt positive coping skills

Let us be realistic – human feelings and emotions will always be present. Once in a while, even the most confident person doubts themselves.

You are a human being, so you cannot completely get rid of jealousy. It may creep up on you when you least expect it.

If you find yourself having these feelings, recognize them, and deal with them in a healthy manner. Be gentle with yourself and remember to take care of your mental, physical and emotional health.

Breathe in and out, engage in activities that make you happy, or even spend time with your family and friends. Healthy coping mechanisms will help you become a better person and ultimately improve how you relate with your partner.

Do you remember how happy you were when you first fell in love with your partner? Do not destroy the relationship you have cultivated due to flimsy reasons.

Things to keep in mind… 

Trust your partner to make the correct decisions, manage your feelings and emotions, and do not give in to the strong urge to act negatively whenever you feel jealous in your relationship. 

At the end of the day, we know jealousy is not in most cases, especially when it goes out of control. What we do know is that talking about it can help clear things out.

Talking has a major effect on our relationships… It’s one of the strongest weapons we humans have. Learning how to communicate and play with your partner might get all the jealousy away.