Why Women Cheat in a Relationship

Relationship Experts Explained- Why Women Cheat in a Relationship

Sex & Relationships

Women tend to be very loyal when it comes to their relationships, unlike men, who tend to stray when they get bored. However, a woman can also cheat on a man. There are a few factors that contribute to a woman who cheats on her man. This article explores why some women cheat in a relationship, according to experts.

They are not sexually satisfied with their partner.

Women are just as interested in sex as men. There is a misconception that men are more sexual than women, which is completely inaccurate. While in a relationship, if a woman is not sexually satisfied with her partner, she may consider an affair to meet her sexual needs. 

They are looking for more intimacy.

Men and women often cheat for similar reasons—it is either a reflection of an unhappy relationship or an unhappy, unfulfilled individual. A large reason why women may feel unhappy in the relationship is there is a lack of intimacy. Intimacy is the emotional connection between partners in a relationship. While this is often achieved through sex, it is also achieved through romance and giving attention to our partners. A new affair offers a sense of excitement, romance, affection, and connection.

They wanted to feel special.

Many women want to feel special in their relationships. A new lover often makes a woman feel sexy and desirable. A woman cheating in her relationship knows she is engaging in an unacceptable and inappropriate relationship but makes her feel pursued, wanted, and special. They know it’s wrong, but feeling special to someone feels very right in that moment. This creates the cycle of secrecy because it meets a need, but they know it shouldn’t. An affair rekindles the excitement, passion, and confidence a woman feels about this other person but also about herself. – Janika Veasley, LMFT Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist

What factors make women cheat their partner in a relationship?

Gender is irrelevant. Anyone who is completely unhappy or not getting anything/benefiting by remaining in a relationship will typically move on said Kevin Darné is the author of My Cat Won’t Bark! (A Relationship Epiphany.

In the opinion of Katie Lasson, Clinical Sexologist & Relationship Advisor M.Sc., Birkbeck University Peaches and Screams- if there has been cheating in a relationship, then the couple should look into the mirror first.

Admit why it happened, talk about and then the other part can decide if he or she accepts it, and they can start building up the relationship again.

Research shows that women cheat more easily because their hormone levels are more unstable, and emotional stability is harder to achieve. This leads to more arguments and fights, usually in a relationship. And what happens psychologically is when you are upset and cannot control your emotions, you start acting irrationally. That might lead to cheating.

Also, the need for attention level is much higher compared to men. When there is a lack of attention and communication in a relationship and women don’t know how to handle it, it might end up with hookups.

The thing with cheating is that when women do it, it most of the time is not just sex; it involves feelings and is deeper. So, when a woman does cheating, it is harder to save the relationship.

Also, many women cheat because their partner has cheated, so they think if both have done it, they are equal and can happily ever after. But that is so wrong, and it will hunt both partners. And I can assure, that if new arguments arise, then this cheating topic will be dug out from the past.

7 Reason why women cheat in a relationship

Both monogamy and cheating are choices the individual makes. The only person you can control is yourself.- Kiara Luna, LMHC, Licensed Mental Health Counselor

Emotional Distance

In my work with couples and individuals in the field, there has been a consistent response from women about feeling disconnected, not only physically but emotionally. Partners tend to not know what their women are going through, the load they are carrying outside and inside the relationship, which causes women to feel lonely in the relationship. Failed bids for connection are another way to increase emotional distance in a relationship. If every time I attempt to engage you in a conversation, hold you, or just connect somehow, I am rejected, I will be interpreting that as not being wanted.

Feeling lonely and not wanted in a relationship are some of the worst feelings to experience. Questions that would help to know about your partner’s inner world in regards to this are the following; What makes you feel lonely in our relationship? In what moments do you feel rejected or not wanted? What have you tried to connect with me (physically or emotionally), and perhaps I did not notice? These questions will open the door to emotional intimacy, clarity, and closeness. 

Rituals of connections have stopped.  

Dating is extremely important in a relationship. This is a time where you get to connect emotionally, physically, tune in to each other’s inner world, show vulnerability, and update each other about wants, needs, and desires.

In my experience, couples who have disconnected from engaging in rituals of connections decrease their intimacy which causes them to then disconnect emotionally as well. They grow within the relationship to feel like strangers to each other, which prevents them from having deep conversations. 

Feeling like they have to mask who they are

The foundation of intimate relationships is friendship, knowing your partner’s inner world, knowing their desires, stressors, wants. Feeling like you have a partner, you can always lean on for good times and bad times is necessary for the relationship.

An example of how this might begin is when women share something personal about their lives, and instead of the partner being empathetic, the partner becomes critical and judgmental about the experience shared. At that moment, she learned she could not let him into her world as much as she would like to because “he/she will not look at me the same.” This is when she begins to make adjustments about which parts of her she will show. This can become very exhausting, emotionally and physically. 

Fondness and Admiration

Providing words of affirmations is no longer happening, which means no appreciation is being demonstrated. Showing fondness and admiration increases the respect in the relationship and also increases emotional closeness.

When women do not feel appreciated in managing the different roles they have to work, they begin to feel resentful because they do not feel noticed or celebrated.

Lack of understanding

Emotional distance also grows from feeling not listened to, misunderstood, ignored, judged, and/or criticized. If every time I go to you with my emotions to vent about how I feel, you meet me with a “that is not a big deal, just get over it,” or “please, my day was worse than yours,” you will be making your partner feel dismissed and invalidated.

Culturally, women at times expect more understanding from their partners, and when that need is not being fulfilled, they go elsewhere to get it. We live in a world where most of us already feel misunderstood, so when we go home, we want to feel heard and validated for how we feel. Another major mistake made is problem-solving for your partner’s problems.

Sometimes all that was needed was a listening ear and compassion being shown. However, women are typically met with ways to solve what they are speaking about, which makes them feel as if their partners think they are not smart enough to figure it out on their own. 

Peer pressure

In my work with couples, I have also found that some have given in to feeling pressured due to their surroundings promoting it as a way to “get back at the partner” for being emotionally distant and/or because in speaking with their peers, assumptions are made that the other partner might be cheating too.

Miscommunication

Not communicating their needs and wants also leads some women to cheat. At times, it is expected that the partner “should” know what they want and need in the relationship, and if they do not know, then that must mean they “do not want to be with me or they are entertaining someone else as they have been so absent anyway.”

Suppressing our needs and wants is typically a learned behavior from childhood that we have not worked through yet and perhaps do not even know is what keeps us stuck. This can show up very differently for everyone; perhaps some women are not being sexually satisfied but are afraid of bringing the topic to their partners for fear of hurting their feelings or making them feel inferior.

Women assume that their partners are either going to become upset or feel less than them. Because these conversations are not being held, both partners are on different pages about what the reality is for one another.